Friday 6 July 2007

Pic of the day: For the sims, of course, engagement can be proposed by either side, and affects both equally.

No ring?!?

Today I learned something that shocked me. Not because it was all that extreme in itself, there are much worse thing in the world. But generally I have an idea about those bad things; they don't take me completely by surprise. American men, however, caught me by surprise. And evidently this is not limited to Americans, but is a widespread all over the English-speaking world. I am talking about not wearing an engagement ring.

Here in Norway, men and women both wear engagement rings. Then again, it is my impression that engagements are more or less agreed on. It is not usually something that comes out of the blue. You wouldn't normally just show up with an engagement ring to someone who hasn't already made it reasonably clear that they love you and intend to continue that way. As for the expenses, engagement rings here in Norway are generally much less expensive than those in America, so if the woman is a student or otherwise unemployed, the man can afford two rings.

I am being told that women don't need to see whether a man is engaged or not, since it is not they who take the initiative. They just wait until a man approaches them romantically. What nonsense! If that was true, a man would basically just have to make a list of women and keep dating one after another until he found one who was willing to marry him. Not only would this mean years of frustrated dating but also that most marriages would be less than optimal. In real life, women are much more picky than men about their mate. In real life, women are plotting and planning to get the best man they can get. As well they should, since in the end women are the underwriters for the next generation.

The preoccupation with finding Mr Right is the basis for most of the fiction written for women (which may well be more than the rest of fiction taken together; it certainly is a lot). The least you guys could do for them is wear some visible token that you're already engaged. I don't care if it's a pointy hat or tasseled shoes, but I really think an engagement ring would be the easiest to introduce since people already know what it's for.

Come to think of it, there ought to be some visible sign that a man is Intentionally Single and is going to stay that way. I guess most men in that situation are already wearing some variation of monk robes or priestly dress... Although in my experience, once you reach a certain age, mismatched clothes and a cheap haircut may be enough.