Sims 2 Micropolis: Sharpe
Welcome to 5 Gravel Road! I am, uh, a higher-dimensional sentient life form. The equivalent of a sim on our far more complex plane of reality. I act as a guardian angel for this neighborhood.
Marcus: If you are about to abduct me, please don't make me pregnant. It would be disastrous for my grades if I had to stay home from school that long.
I am not that kind of alien! That is why I usually refer to myself as a guardian angel. I don't live on a different planet in your reality, but in a more solid plane of existence... the archetypal reality from which yours is derived.
Marcus: Fascinating! Philosophers have argued that such an ideal plane may exist, but to have contact with a being from there...
Well, it is not ideal in the traditional sense. It is actually infinitely more complex and encompassing than your world. Unfortunately I would not be able to describe to you those features that don't exist in your world, since you lack the corresponding concepts.
Marcus: Talk about letdown.
Well, I guess I should say that your universe exists as a kind of bubble universe within our own. And your time is... well, not exactly two-dimensional, but kind of folded? For instance, I just arrived here from next Sunday, but I have not been here before. I spent this week with your neighbors, the Crafts. And before that, I spent this same week with the Grady bunch. So I am simultaneously here and there, but you are not, so it really makes no difference to you. For instance I know I am going to meet you at one of those places later in the week, but I am not going to spoil it for you.
Marcus: So you have already met me... later this week?
Yes, I have already met you in the near future, but we were not properly introduced then since we already did that now. So how about you say a few words about yourself?
Marcus: I am something as unlikely as a sporty young man who likes to study. I know it makes me fall outside the usual jock/nerd categories, but I don't mind. I don't much like people. Give me a good book instead. I am interested in ghosts and near-death experiences. Also, I like to read underwear catalogs. I want to become chief of staff.
You will face some competetion there.
Marcus: So, I'm into geometry. I really dig it.
Mari: You are crazy. Mad. Insane. Mentally challenged and defeated.
Stacie: You're kidding, right? That was pretty funny.
Stacie Campbell seems to be another spontaneously generated townie. Mari Ashby, unfortunately, is not. I wish she was earlier on my list. She needs my guidance badly.
Mari: Angel dude, you are lambasting me for kicking over people's trashcans in the future. How am I supposed to defend myself from that?
By not kicking over their trashcans in the future?
At least the girls seem to get along great. But Mari seems to be bugged: She gets 250 aspiration points every time she throws a water balloon. She must be platinum by now.
Mari: Kiss my platinum behind, angel dude.
Your offer would have been more tempting if you weren't so 2-dimensional.
Marcus: Yeah! I rock so much, I am just going to cheer myself.
You seem to be doing pretty well.
Marcus: Well of course. I am smart, I am sporty, I am handsome. It rocks to be me!
Well, it took you a goodly part of the week to get that A+.
Marcus: Because I have my skillz to awesomize too.
Marcus: This girl is crazy. I like that!
That makes two of you, then.
Alison: ~ It's hard to overstate my satisfaction ~
Marcus: It's Friday, I'm in love!
Marcus, you have negative attraction to that girl. One crossed-out lightning bolt. Why do you squee pink hearts all over the place?
Marcus: Because it's Friday?
Hard to argue with that, but I did not know it affected sims.
Marcus: Well she would be cute if she didn't stink. I hate the stink, but I like the girl.
That makes more sense.
Marcus: Don't disturb, I am studying. I told Jimmy when he called me, Saturday is my skilling day. But then he just showed up ringing the bell.
So, spontaneously generated townie, what brings about this bizarre behavior? Weren't you also clinging on Grant Craft back when I was there?
Jimmy Ramsey: I just hate being alone! It feels like I don't exist when I am alone!
Very perceptive. The truth is that you DON'T exist when you are alone. You are an existential parasite on the playables. You came into existence because of them, and will cease to exist if I stop observing them. In between your visits and phone calls, you are merely a memory and experience no personal growth.
Jimmy: Every moment I am here makes me more real! Wouldn't you be desperate to become real?
Couldn't you get a Facebook like other people?
Well, that was an uneventful week. Apart from getting your trash can kicked twice.
Marcus: Like I need a trash can anyway with the omnivorous stove.
Yes. A truly flexible little download, even though its cooking value is abysmally low.
Marcus: Lunch meat sandwiches give the best skill per calorie ratio anyway.
And now I shall timejaunt to this past summer. But first a parting picture for my female readers to squee over. I can't get over the fact that you were randomly generated.
Marcus: The same way an explosion in a printshop causes books?
Well, closer to that than a thousand monkeys.
Marcus: Well, bye for now, extradimensional overseer.