Sunday 16 December 2007

Pic of the day: The real idiots are always awake at 6 in the morning. Sleep deprivation, the cheap drug-free way to have weird experiences. (Don't try to drive, or cook food, or use object with sharp edges.)

Short: Sleepy vision

I had been staying up way too long and was almost asleep in my chair when I suddenly became a bit queasy. I closed my eyes and at once entered a state inbetween sleep and wakefulness. I was aware enough to realize that this was not normal, and I prayed to God: "Please accept these limitations." It sounded weird but God seemed to like the prayer, and I realized that this was because I had used accept as in "please accept this present", take it from my hands and do with it what you will. After this, God showed me that some of my favorite entertainment is not bad, because it is really archetypal and show the way things should be, only exaggerated out of this world. It is the loss of innocence that causes them to become bad.

(This made sense when I wrote it, but by now I have no idea what God, or perhaps my writing self, meant by "loss of innocence". I am sure it had nothing to do with sex because my favorite entertainments are are very chaste by human standards. I agree on the archetypal thing though.)

After a short time I tried to open my eyes but the light was blinding and I went back inside. I could feel energy flowing into me though, and after a while I was ready to go out there in wakefulness again. I had to go to the bathroom first, then I wrote all this down.

(It seems a common trait in my "near God experiences" is being sick or tired or exhausted, and then I sense this energy that is elsewhere - I cannot describe it in any human languages but I like to say it is at right angles to every one of our three dimensions - and I allow it to flow into me. It is a very noticeable, palpable feeling, but it ends naturally when my strength is restored to a reasonable level. To try to continue to pull on it then would be blasphemy to me, but I believe some people do this. I have seen a couple spiritual people warn against it.)

Obviously I cannot say whether my sleepy and queasy revelations really were of divine origin, but I don't think they are at odds with the benevolent spiritual tradition which I have been taught.