Saturday 17 June 2006

Pic of the day: "I had said goodbye so many times, never knowing if it was the last. And yet I could not bear watching her pass away."
This entry is about my Sims. It is not about me at all.

(Sims2) Tiber revisited

"Well, hello again. It's certainly been a while since last time. I was still in college back then, wasn't I? It was after my good friend Premium Tellerman had begun living in the same dorm as I, unless I am mistaken.

"Premium is married to the girl who used to babysit him. She's nearing the middle of her life now, and they have a kid. We're neighbors so it's not like I don't see them. We're still best friends, Premium and I. But one thing is different. I don't age anymore.

"It wasn't a big surprise, with my father and aunt being virtually ageless. In fact I think my father looks slightly younger than I do now, but after that I too have slowed down. Perhaps I'll just live for 500 years or something? Who knows. It is not like someone like me was ever meant to be born. But here I am, making the best I can out of it. I do not dislike my life, not at all. I only dislike the lack of meaning, an extraordinary person born without an extraordinary purpose.

***

"My mother is passed away, of course. I was there at the end. Even though I bought this small house downtown rather than move back in with them, I was not able to keep away. I would stop by every other day it seems, playing chess and watching their countless friends come and go as they had done since I was small. And for each passing year, my mother grew older and more frail. She had a happy old age, though. I think those were the best years of her life. She was in good health overall, and had achieved all that she wanted in her life. Oh, she kept trying to get me paired up with the nice girls which are so plentiful around here. But seeing how I did not age, she realized that there really was no hurry. And she was not a family Sim anyway. Weddings, grandchildren and that stuff did not really interest her. Thank the Humans for that! I don't know what I should have done.

"We were all there when the Reaper came for her. Of course, my father and aunt are pretty much always at home, since they don't have to work. The family is rich enough already, with the money their spouses have brought home. So they sometimes go downtown, but mostly they are at home entertaining guests. I think my mother knew it was her time that day, and that's why she called me that morning. I might have stopped by anyway, I'm not sure. She had a lot of time for me that day. We talked, we played together and remembered old times. And then, in the afternoon, it was her time to go. She had lived a good life, and her time was up. And yet there was sadness in her face when she realized that there was no way back. I wonder, even if I live for hundreds of years, thousands of years, will I ever truly be satisfied? Will I ever really have had enough? Or is this a part of human nature that just cannot be overcome, the feeling that nothing is ever enough?

"I had said goodbye so many times, never knowing if it was the last. And yet I could not bear watching her pass away.

***

"As expected, my father did not grieve alone for long before he found another wife. Except I had not expected it to be her, or that she would be the one to seek out him. Camryn, widow of Komei Tellermann and mother of my best friend. Who better to comfort a grieving widower than a widow? Well, evidently the comfort kinda took off, and they ended up marrying even though she is not really part of the holy mission thing. She is a certified nice woman, which must be where Premium has his niceness from. It sure isn't from his father. So now she is living with my father, and her son is living in her old house, and I'm living next door to him. What a turnabout.

"I am making a living by writing. My knowledge is in high demand, as I have also become an expert on theoretical robotics. Robotics is all the rage these days, everyone is talking about the new self-willed robots. I could probably assemble one of those, now, but I am not convinced they are even a good idea. Until we truly know ourselves, should we even attempt making creatures in our own image?

"As my hobby of writing for scientific publications is earning me far more money than I need, I decided to hire a maid. I already know what there is to learn about the art of cleaning... in fact, I can sometimes spot an imperfection in the maid's work. But overall she does a good job, it is honest work for a fellow Sim, and I have plenty of other things to occupy my time. Lucy -- that's the maid, Lucy Hanby -- is actually kinda pretty, with long red hair and a wide smile. You'd think she could go anywhere and have fun. But for some reason she is more and more often coming here at the end of her workday and staying all evening. Don't look at me, I have talked to her of course, but never said anything about that. Well, I just try to be decent company, or invite someone who can be. Lauren next door, Premium's wife, is a nice woman and I sometimes ask her to come over too. Then they have each other for company. It is kinda embarrassing to be alone with a woman day after day for no apparent reason.

"I don't think Premium minds being alone with the kid now and then. He is still studying, over the Internet he says. But it doesn't seem to be hard work, not when I have observed. He seems to mostly potter around making food. He plans to become a famous chef one day. I am not sure you can do that without business experience, but it is his life. His parents practically paid off the mortgage, and he got a big inheritance and a good life insurance after Komei, so he doesn't really need to work. Sometimes it seems nobody is working around here. Of course, I have the writing. But it is not like I need to for the money. People are stressing way too much about money. You don't need a big manor unless you have a dozen kids, after all.

"But there is no point in me talking away about politics. I just wanted you to know how I am doing now. And I'm doing fine. Sure, sometimes I wish I could experience human life the way others do. Love, woohoo, marriage, children. Well, at least woohoo. But then I see Lucy ... or anyone ... old and white-haired like my mother, the Reaper coming to lead her away. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm fine as it is. Really."