Sunday 7 September 2008

Pic of the day: Gurus don't play The Sims 2.

No guru

I sometimes vaguely worry that if you only read certain colors of my entries, I may come across as some kind of guru, or at least some guy trying to pass himself off as a guru.

Obviously that makes no sense. Gurus don't play Sims 2, don't watch anime, and probably don't even hold an insignificant job in the state bureaucracy. They just sit there and meditate, if they are traditional gurus, or travel the world by plane if they are modern gurus. Being a guru is their job, their hobby, and their life. I don't really even hope to become like that. Sure, there is always a demand for gurus in the world, but it becomes a bit distant for ordinary people, don't you think? Whereas I am still mostly human, and you would be in your good right to think: "Whatever that guy got, it can't be particularly hard to come by."

If I live some more years - and I would appreciate that - there is a good chance I will eventually stop playing computer games, just like I've stopped many other things, or at least that it will fade to just a tiny rat's tail without quite leaving my life. (I still buy a comic book every couple months after all.) I have no idea whether laying off games will be a result of growing more Enlightened or just needing the time for something else, we'll see if we get there. But I am pretty sure I am not going to spend all my days meditating, even though that would probably not be a bad thing to do. It could hardly benefit the world less than working for the state after all. But it probably won't happen anyway, because that's not the kind of guy I am.

I guess I just don't think the invisible worlds should be just for gurus, I don't think meditation should be just for gurus, I don't think happiness as the normal condition should be just for gurus. I believe ordinary people can become slightly extraordinary, enough so to make ordinary life much more interesting. I am not sure how much it really helps to be born smart, but I am sure it helps to have wise parents. But even if not, if there is a seed of free will and sanity, I think anyone can "see the universe in a grain of sand", and the extraordinary in everyday life, and wake up in the morning with a sense of joy for the sheer adventure of being alive.

***

I have mentioned repeatedly throughout these nine years that I seem to live life at a different speed, more similar to that of a child or at least a teenager than those my own age. That is of course hard to say for sure, since I have not been anyone else. But I have been a child and I have been young. Time goes a bit faster now, and it does vary, but it is not like the hours are suddenly only a few minutes long. From now until NaNoWriMo (November) for instance is a sea of time. I think this may be connected to the "default network" in the brain which I have talked about the last few days. It automates everything so we can go sleeping through life eventually. But somehow it has a slightly looser grip on me.

I readily admit that it may be in part a consequence of my environment: When I grew up, there was a saying that "you may not live longer as a bachelor, but it feels that way". I think this was intended as a warning, but to me stretching time seems like one of my greatest blessings, on a similar level as still having my limbs and senses. As the Christian mystic Elias Aslaksen once wrote: "Don't kill time, it is your life!" - He may not have been the first to say that, but that's the only place I have seen it. And here, of course, since I quote it from time to time.

It is also a purely subjective experience, of course. It is not like I actually accomplish more than other people - actually less than many, since I spend it all on slack. But I still thoroughly enjoy it, and would be happy to share this experince with you if I could. But a guru I am not, and will likely never be... unless there is a position open for Guru of Slack!