Sunday 16 November 2003

Pic of the day: For those of us who really don't want to let our bright side out. Picture from inspirational anime Psychic Academy Aura Banshou.

Jon of Arc

'House burned down. Car stolen. Cat exploded. Did 1500 easy words, so all in all it was a pretty good day.'

No, that is not actually my diary. It is a popular quote from the popular writer Neil Gaiman, used to illustrate how writing a novel takes over a life. I am not sure if this is true for all writers, but probably a whole lot. Even many of the amateurs -- like myself -- who take part in the NaNoWriMo, the mad rush to write 50 000 words of novel during the month of November. So I humbly ask your forgiveness if I don't seem quite present and accounted for. After all, for the duration of the creative stampede, I live in two worlds. And let us face it: If the imaginary world was less interesting than the real world to me, why would I bother to write about it in the first place?

I have been writing since before I started school, although it didn't really pick up until puberty. I have written thousands of pages since, most of them probably burned or lost in other ways. I know I had quite a few 5 1/4 inch floppies filled with fiction, and now I don't even know where the floppies are; not that I have any computers at home that could read them if they are still readable.

***

When people start to write fiction, it is more common than not that their own private daydreams or fantasies or nightmares take over the story. Sometimes the story is even autobiographic. (Here in Norway at least, there seems to be a tradition of teachers writing novels about stressed teachers. Sex and madness usually ensues. Or perhaps I don't quite remember that part... they tend to be boring.) Anyway, the point is that when you start your journey into the subconscious, you first meet your personal subconscious. You have to go through that, you have to go further to reach into the collective subconscious from which our shared dreams and myths arise. You have to go through yourself to reach the world. How much of yourself remains in your later works? That will vary. "Write about what you know" is a common and good advice; but it doesn't necessarily mean "write about yourself".

For instance (to write about something I know) let us take the novel in progress that I am currently writing, DarkEyes. It is a mixture of romance and magic. As a romance novel, it features a man and woman. The fact that there is a male Main Character does not mean that this character is me. Yes, I am male, and this character is male. So we have something in common. To be honest, we have more in common than that; I intend to return to this soon. But we are not the same person. We do not have the same goals and the same priorities. And we certainly don't have the same magic. Indeed, one of the nice things about writing a supernatural story is that most sane people will find this a help to keep the fiction fictional. Jon, the male protagonist, can see in the dark and through walls. The reader will immediately realize that this cannot be based on Magnus Itland's experiences. Or at least I fervently hope so!

Once we have established the separate identity of the character, it should not be a great leap for the reader to realize that the romance is not based strictly on personal experience either. (Which, to be honest, is a good thing for my fictional characters.) Best of all, this means my friends and relatives don't need to search the novel and their memories to try to find out which real life women correspond to the female characters in the book. There are no such women. I created them. I used bits and pieces from real and fictional people, and added my own twist.

And then, just as you are ready to close the case and write it off as a mass-produced factory product, I have a confession to make! I actually identify with the male Main Character in some significant way.

***

You see, the imaginary Jon and I have basically the same reaction to Leonard Cohen's song "Joan of Arc". I just played through it several times, and there can be no doubt about it. It is a hauntingly beautiful song, especially if you get the duet with Jennifer Warnes on her album with Cohen songs, "Famous Blue Raincoat". It is a fictional account of how Joan of Arc encountered fire personified and agreed to become his bride, and this was the cause of her being burned to death. (In real life, she was executed for political reasons concealed as religion.) You can read the official lyrics here.

I have written this before, long ago, that when I first heard this song (and ever after), I did not identify with Joan of Arc. I identified with the fire. Somehow I have the feeling that this is quite unusual. But my fictional character feels the same way. Of course, he has reason to think so (even if he is wrong); but that is a reason I have given him. So I don't think this point of connection is a coincidence.

I guess when other men are worried that all women are too small to contain them, they are not at all worried about their mind, like I am. And they are likely as deluded as I... or Jon, my poor fictional hero. But even so. Scaring people with your dark side is bad enough. When your bright side is more scary than your dark side, fire suddenly seems a reasonable metaphor. To always hold back, to always restrain oneself, not out of fear of getting hurt, but out of fear of hurting another. It is an interesting tale to tell, although the solution I come up with in my fiction is not the one in my life. Of course, which one is the most realistic, you may have your own opinion on. "The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to be realistic", isn't that approximately what they say?