Tuesday 6 March 2007

Pic of the day: Thus endeth my cereal monogamy.

Seduced by corn

I am being lured away from my oat flakes by the sweet seduction of corn flakes. I am not sure this is a good thing, but it feels so good. Then again isn't that what all people say who are being seduced?

As a child and young boy at home on the farm in western Norway, I would often start my day with cereals: Oat flakes with milk and raspberry jam. Sometimes strawberry, probably, but it is the raspberry I remember. Other times I would start the day with fried potatoes and egg like the workers of the family, but when not I would go with the oats.

As an adult, I spent years without breakfast cereals. Well, technically I guess bread is a form of cereal, and I would eat a couple slices of white bread in the morning sometimes, other times just yogurt. Only after 45 or so have I returned to the oats. And now it seems that it may after all not be till death does us part. All because of some mutant corn from South America.

I have tasted corn flakes before, when I was a teenager. It has a completely different taste, stronger and sweeter, and a completely different texture too. I was starting to remember this, and one day decided to try again. The local supermarket had huge boxes of the stuff for a ridiculously low price. I mean, seriously, this box will probably last me a month and cost a couple dollars. Of course, I still need to buy milk now and then, but I'd do that anyway.

I brought the box home, and the next morning I tried it. It tasted even better than I had imagined. And when a few days later I tried oats again, it just wasn't the same anymore. In contrast to my new love, it just didn't stack up. Sorry.

***

I am still not convinced that this is a good idea. Oh, I am pretty sure there is enough fiber in the corn flakes too. After all, the Kellog guy who invented it was by all accounts obsessed with having defecation instead of sex. Yes, I think there is some degree of insanity there. (Actually, from his prolific writing emerges the image of a completely insane, violent victim of overwhelming mind parasites camouflaged as religion. You may not want to let your kids read that or they may swear off corn flakes for life.) The invention of corn flakes was supposedly a step toward the death of all non-reproductory sex. Can't say I find constipation sexy myself; it is one of the most dreadful of commonplace afflictions, if you ask me. I'd vote for double-sided toothache over it any day. But to the feverish brain of Mr Kellog, the bowels was where it all began.

But with all due respect for bowels, moving them should not be the sole purpose of eating. Grains contain lots of carbohydrates but also useful proteins, vitamins and moderate amounts of minerals. Each type of grain has its special blend of organic molecules. The oats have co-evolved with my ancestors in the chilly Norwegian valleys for thousands of years; those who were best able to digest it and metabolize it had an advantage in a land of harsh climate and limited resources. In contrast, maize co-evolved with the natives of South America, in a different climate and soil. My ancestors and theirs parted ways probably around the time they both left Africa, sometime around 60 000 years ago. It seems unlikely that I will metabolize this foreign plant as fully as its rightful owners, just as they probably would not get all the benefits out of our local flora.

Despite this, I have caved in. At least for a while let me enjoy the seduction of this alien mutant plant. (Maize is unusual in that it has a large number of identical chromosomes. It is, in scientific terms, polyploid. At least it is not triploid like the banana, possibly the most alien organism any of us is likely to meet in real life.)

It is a comfort of sorts that I am not the only person to cave in to the temptation of foreign grasses. Not only is maize so common a food in North America that it is referred to as "corn", a name formerly used for wheat. But while we sometimes boil rice for dinner, people in Japan are increasingly tempted by wheat. The culture clash between bread and rice appears in a couple anime I have seen, and the title of my entry is perhaps partly inspired by one Japanese song I have enjoyed, in which one line seems to translate as "the seduction (or temptation?) of wheat".

Of course, is that was the worst of my temptations, I'd be a saint by now. But let us not dwell on such things on a beautiful spring day. And anyway, corn flakes was invented to help us resist temptations, right? Except the temptation of corn flakes, obviously.