Thursday 1 March 2001

Pic of the day: Bits and pieces...

Fragmenting

The last two evenings, I have converted the file system on my portable. I've had Win98 on it from the beginning, but for some reason I have stuck with the 16 bits File Allocation Tables, even though these are less efficient. I guess part of it was the nifty hibernation modus, which is not available with 32-bits FAT. But it was unrealiable already. Often the computer would reset spontaneously, or lock up. Then again, it is a Toshiba.

I've pointed out before that Toshiba evidently spends too much money on advertising and not enough on quality control, as my Toshiba portable is by far the shoddiest computer I have used. But now I think the company is on the verge of bankrupcy: In the latest ads, they have not even afforded clothes for their models! I kid you not, Toshiba have ads featuring only naked people (and some computers, probably used). This can not be a good sign. Perhaps the crisis in that nation's industry is even worse than we imagined.

That said, I still love to have a portable computer. It is for some reason more comfortable. Probably because I live by the saying: "The only right position to work is 'varied'". And portables are easier to move around. My wrists improved fairly quickly after I switched to the portable, much to my surprise, and they are holding up fairly well.

***

The file system conversion went quicker than I had expected. However, on both of my main disks the conversion bombed with a message that I did not have enough memory. On the D: (leisure) disk I zipped the Daggerfall Arena2 folder, which contains all the textures and other fixed game data. This solved the problem there. On the C: (system) disk, I emptied the cache, which was rather large. That solved the problem there. It is still a bit disconcerting that I actually guessed which folders held the greatest number of files. A common user would probably not know this. But I am an uncommon user, though I certainly am not an expert on the modern generations of computers. In so far as I was an expert, that was long ago. Back when you really had to squeeze the computer to make it do what you wanted. Now, you just buy a new and better.

As I write this, the Defrag program is working in the background. The file conversion leaves quite a number of small holes in the file system, places that were not accessible with the more limited 16 bits table. I can see them when I "show details" on the defrag program: The unfragmented parts of the disk often show geometric patterns, with rows of used sectors separated by white gaps. Defrag goes slower when you let it show details, but I like it. It is a pretty sight, comforting in a way.

It's kind of strange I don't defrag my life more. It could certainly need it as least as much as my hard disk.

***

During the day to day use, the hard disk tends to get fragmented: Files are just dropped on the hard disk the first place there is room for them, and often a single file can be spread around in various gaps on the disk. This is especially common when the disk is nearly full. (And what disk is not nearly full?) The file allocation table will remember where the various parts are lying, but it still takes more time to pick it up. The similarity to my apartment is striking, and one could even say, to my life.

I am the kind of person who just drops things. OK, I am not extreme. I won't drop my clothes on the floor, with the exception of socks, and then only in very limited areas of the floor. So moving about here is not too bad. But the tables are weighed down with layers upon layers of old magazines, postcards, books (including the occasional phone book), and the occasional binder and mail packet. Computer games and cables also take up space on two of the tables. I usually have a vague idea where an object is stored, but retrieving it may take some time. All in all, it's not too bad, because I rarely need to retrieve most things.

I am also the kind of person who rarely closes anything. Oh, I close doors and windows. I mean in my life. I just move on, from one fad to the next. I don't hold a judgement on the fads I leave (with a few notable exceptions, such as the fashion clothes time of my life). But by and large, the fads left behind just lie about like layers of half-trash on my mind, the same way as in my apartment. It's still there if for some reason I return to it. But often enough, I just don't.

I start doing something, then I stop. I don't really plan to stop, I just do it less and less, and then not at all. It could be a novel ... I have binders, not to mention floppies, full of novels I have started to write but never finished. (Which may be just as well, when I see on the older ones.) I take up a study, then I read less and less and then not at all. I start reading a book, but sometimes I just put it aside for a while - and it remains that way for years.

Friends and relatives too ... I may do something for a while to keep contact, but eventually it just falters. I think it is usually they who stop contacting me, but then again ... funny how they ALL do that.

***

Once, some years ago, I sat down for weeks and wrote a different story. It was not a novel about magic and science, but a story about my own life. The main character was myself, with one difference: The power to take my memories with me back in time, to know at different points in the past what I knew later. Chapter by chapter I went back to various points in time and in my imagination relived them in a better or at least different way. Of course, that doesn't really change the past. But I think it changed me. There were things I had almost forgotten, that came back and caused me feelings. I don't feel a lot, you know, but I did feel some. And I felt better afterwards.

Another thing I have sometimes done, is meditation. I just sit down and don't think while my brain or my mind or whatever sorts out things, like muddy water that grows clear when it is quiet for a while. But if I try to do that now, I fall asleep in a few minutes. :)

But now, I "have to" log on Planetarion and see if my allies need help. I "have to" log on the message boards and see what is being debated there, and how the roleplay is going. And I "have to" log on IRC and see if my new e-friends are on. All at once, of course. Multitasking. Fragmenting. Slipping bits and pieces of my life into the holes in time. And loving it, I guess.