Saturday 11 March 2000

Pic of the day: No new picture today because the new computer is still being repaired. You may want to ponder the wisdom in the quote above while we wait for more stability.

I woke up after eight hours sleep (which is exceptionally long for me these days). My nose and throat were uncomfortably clogged, but I was alive and soon I breathed more freely. I was at my workplace a little before ten, but not to work. I updated my e-mail and later the diary. And I played The Sims. I'm still almost as excited about it as the first day, which is quite impressive. This may be one of the greatest hits of all time, but you need a modern computer.

Around half past one I set off for the apartment where SuperWoman lives this month with her elderly aunt. This time I found my way without going astray, and was there about half an hour later. I brought a box of chocolates, of course. And since there is no telling if a woman eats chocolates on any given day, I also brought a bouquet of roses. And finally the medical GP handbook. Somewhat to my surprise I found SuperWoman knitting baby socks. It turns out that these were for her nephew, though, and I consider that a good thing.

Around three, we went to the South Coast Center mall and bought clothes. A long summer skirt, in a simple but beautiful pattern, almost khaki color but not khaki texture. A black skirt, a bit shorter but still past the knees. And finally a pair of Levis. Oh, and a similar number of tops. And a jersey. Oh, and a pair of summer shoes with somewhat high soles. It felt good to finally buy something for her after having spent so much money on myself this winter.

After that, we drove home to her aunt's apartment again and had dinner. A fat dinner. SuperWoman was so stuffed she did not put on the new clothes till late in the evening. Umm, I guess that says something about the clothes too. Let us hope they do not shrink when washed. But she sure looked good. (No surprise there, really.)

I asked her to turn off the TV, which was doing what it does best, distract. Then listened to her account of the time since last we met. I've been updated on the essentials over the telephone, but now we could talk for free as much as we wanted. After a while her aunt came in and turned on the TV. I guess humans have some instinct that make them crave the company of crowds. I lack this. I like small groups, and best of all I like to be alone with a friend so we can talk undisturbed.

Later in the evening, SuperWoman and her aunt came to have a heated discussion because SW claimed that she had experienced more than her sisters, because she had studied and travelled abroad. They went on and on in what I personally consider a quarrel, so I dressed and made ready to go. They asked me to stay a bit longer, though, and then SuperWoman would drive me to the bus station. This she eventually did, and I had an uneventful trip home. I appreciate that.

***

SuperWoman did not appreciate me walking out just because the two of them were quarreling. That is OK, because I did not appreciate them quarreling either. "You know that we siblings always quarrel when you visit us" she pointed out. "Yes, but from there I cannot walk home." And besides, it was already almost bedtime. I assumed that they would continue repeating themselves until I had to go home anyway.

I find it very embarassing to hear grown people quarrel. They pass some point where one of them manages to press the other's buttons without being too obvious about it. From there on, there is no more exchange of factual information, only of emotional information. I guess this fills some real need in humans. James Redfield's metaphor is the best one I know, that they fight over energy. Both want the energy boost of being found right; but chances are slim that any one will get it. But of course it is only a metaphor. I wonder what exactly they get out of it.

Then again, I wasn't used to quarrel from home. I lived with my parents for 15 years and I honestly can't remember them having a heated discussion. Then again I was the youngest, they may have settled their disputes before I was even born. As a child I quarreled with my brothers, but that was before my Awakening.
Later I learned that almost all people quarrel, even friends and lovers, preachers and philosophers. But not mystics, I presume, since mystics know that All is One; and One cannot quarrel with Oneself...

In the theoretical case that I had lived with a woman, like most men my age do, I think she would have built up a rather large unmet demand for quarrel. I can quarrel if you insist, but I find it very uncomfortable. I really don't get it. Why do you folks need it? If you want the sweet feeling of triumph over me, we can play some game you are better in than me. Most physical games would do, even fairly light ones like pinball, I think. I'm not exactly the fastest draw in the West.