Monday 28 January 2008

Pic of the day: Dark moment indeed.

(TMI) Like failing a rectal exam

OK, not literally. But if you add the unpleasant associations of a rectal exam with the unpleasant associations of failing an exam, you might get that natural shudder that best describe the onset of a rectal prolapse. You should probably already have stopped reading unless you have a desperate need of weight loss. This is not going to be good for your appetite or even to keep what you have already eaten.

I had just sat down on the commute bus when my bowels began to twist. Over the course of the trip, I grew increasingly tense and was shivering. It seems like a moderate attack of fat poisoning, the mysterious illness that assails me if I eat more than a few grams of fat over the course of some hours. Reason dictates that I avoid fat since I have this condition, but instincts cry out to make me eat more fat since I am below what my body thinks is my optimal weight. (Though it does not cry as loudly as it did when I was thinner.) The end of this dialog is that I skirt as close as I come to fat poisoning without actually catching it. But occasionally I overstep for some reason. If I do so only slightly - as has been the case for a good while now - I can get symptoms like this. Then again it could be a conditioned reflex, like Pavlov's dogs: Once one symptom shows up, the others come in tow.

I ran from the bus to my workplace as fast as I dared. But it was too late. When some part near the end of my digestive tract - I believe it is the sigmoid colon - fills too quickly and too much with fecal matter, it is distended, it changes its shape somewhat. Too much of this and there is a kind of gridlock, as instead of the feces a part of the intestinal wall tries to escape. Very uncomfortable, and the bowels keep straining, which makes it only worse.

I took the next bus home, as there was nothing I could do at work in this state. When I came home, I spent some time in the bathtub. Eventually the cramps loosened up and as always a large quantity of fecal matter came out. The sheer quantity of it seems to be a big part of what triggers this bowel problem, or rather a large quantity moving at the same time. I will henceforth go to greater lengths to ensure more frequent defecation, and of course be wary of the fat as well. At least I am not going to have another such attack for the next couple months. This is a good thing. "Never" is just about right for a repeat performance.

Anyway, that's why I didn't do my work this day.