Monday 17 May 2004

Pic of the day: Akari, from the anime To Heart. A childhood friend that never stops being that.

Lost in magic again

Yes, today is Norway's National Day, Constitution Day. I believe I have already made it clear what I think about nations in the first place... basically they are like Santa Claus, only less friendly. They don't really exist except in our minds and can do neither good nor bad on their own; only when real people act on their behalf do they intersect with reality. So enough about that stuff. Flag-waving is for children.

Of course, one of the more appealing traits of children is their innocence. Comparative innocence, I mean; they can certainly be devious. But compared to most of us they are strikingly innocent. Even teenagers have some of this innocence, although it tends to evaporate fairly quickly from then on. But still for a while, they have not accepted defeat, have not yet realized the power of the adult things, the lifelong servitude waiting for them. They still have hope, and useless dreams. And this is part of what I wanted to write about. You see, I have had another minor revelation.

***

It began exactly one year ago. Or rather, it began when I read in my year-ago entry that last year I was writing on a story I called "Lost in Magic". It just so happens that this month I am writing on it again. Perhaps it is something about the time of the year? If so, that time is short indeed: I found two short chapters from last year, and now I have written two short chapters more. I did not need to create more story really, I continued to write down stuff that came to me last spring. Yes, I do remember such a "mental scratch file" for a year or more, but it has limited capacity. As usual, the story expanded slightly in the transition from brain to screen, but there was no real plotting going on. More about that another time, perhaps.

The story was in no small part inspired by the ending song to the anime To Heart. (Actually there were two ending songs, but I did not know that at the time.) In it, the singer looks back on the time when the two of them could play innocently together. But there is no going back to that time now. We have to move forward, trying to keep the precious memories in our heart.

This is of course exactly how I feel myself, and that is why I love the song so much. It remains one of my favorites.

And I realized that this is one thing I like about young girls, they are so innocent. Now the world is full of perverted old men who like innocent young girls, so this may not be such a big surprise. But I think that in this case the truth is that I am rather innocent myself. I may say a lot of cynical things here, but in practice I am very innocent. That may be why I feel so comfortable with innocent people, and I don't want to change that. But with time their innocence slowly faded, and a distance widened between us. Reality may be hard to face, but there is no going back to that place now.

So from now on, memories and novels. To briefly once again lose myself in a simpler world.