Sunday 16 May 2004

Pic of the day: Well, there are certainly plenty of females in City of Heroes, although some of them are non-player characters (as in this screenshot, featuring a citizen and a trainer) and others are played by middle aged males like myself, no doubt. And anyway, it's just not the same.

Running out of girl

There are some kinds of food that I eat a lot of, and that don't keep very well anyway. For instance, pretty much every time I shop for groceries, I buy lots of yogurt and milk. There are other things that I eat much more sparingly, but really miss if I'm all out of it, such as chocolate or margarine. And then there is stuff like salt: I think the last time I bought salt was in the late 1990s, and I still have enough for several years. And yet, life would not be quite the same without it.

I am starting to think that female companionship is kinda like salt to me. I can do without replenishing it for months or years, but eventually it starts to run out, and things are not quite the same anymore.

Or perhaps it's like the dams used for hydroelectric power. Even when it doesn't rain for months, you can still continue to produce at full capacity. But eventually you can see that the level is starting to get dangerously low.

I am not sure which analogy fits best, or even if any of them really fit. But I have this slowly growing impression that I am starting to run out of girl. Oh, I guess I can survive. I can probably spend the rest of my life and all eternity without girl friendship. But life does not have quite the same flavor, and I cannot guarantee that I will function optimally...

Oh well, I guess there's not much to do about it now. This life is gently winding down. I refuse to try to reach that awesome strength that I sometimes sense burning deep within me; the path ahead is to gradually dwindle to a speck and then disappear. After all, we must all fade and leave, so I'd better start accepting it. But I am fading faster now than I had expected. I think I can say that if I had known, I would have acted differently when I still could.

But I did not know the future that is now my present. And presently I don't know the future, if any. So I may be wrong.