Thursday 23 May 2002

Pic of the day: "Because it is so hard to see clearly in there..."

Phone-space

Forget cyberspace for a while. The really fascinating thing is all the people who seem to believe that they disappear into some other place when they take a call. I'll call it phone-space. Not just does the name draw parallels to cyberspace, but also to that otaku favorite, "hammerspace", where girls in Japanese cartoons hide their hammers when they are not needed to discipline over-eager boys. ^_^ A mysterious kind of pocket dimension which is always there when you need it. (I also suspect that a similar kind of space distortion happens inside women's purses ... you may have seen them drag out anything less than a cow from those things.) Anyway ... clearly some people seem to believe deeply in the existence of phone-space, even if their surroundings don't.

You may have seen these people at work, or even at home. Here in Norway where mobile phones are as common as wallets, we see them on trains, in buses, in shops, or walking down the street. It is doubly entertaining when they wear one of those nearly invisible headsets that let you talk into the air like a madman while your phone is in your pocket.

***

In phone-space, no one can hear you scream. Evidently the place is supposed to be soundproof. That would explain why people not only divulge intimate details of their marital arts, but also read out loud and clear their username and password on the corporate server.

Phone-space is also, it seems, a place of eternal twilight. Because it is so hard to see clearly in there, you have to exaggerate your body language to compensate. Grimaces, grand gestures and postures. And best of all, the friend wiggle! Yes, and I don't know how universal this is but I've seen it from several different women across nearly three generations ... when talking with a friend on a phone (and it is usually a female friend at that) they will lean deeply forward over a nearby piece of furniture, lifting their rear and making it as round as possible, and wiggle slightly. I suppose it is some kind of primate thing. I have not yet found out how this connects to the content of the dialog. This could be because there is no clear connection, or because I am easily distracted. Furniture allowing, younger females are also seen to bend over backwards, or roll over on their back and raise their legs vertically along a wall while talking, something they otherwise rarely do.

For us men, it is simpler. Just have a mind about where you put your free hand.

And people wonder why I am nervous about speaking on the phone? What if I am sucked into phone-space and get lost? Who knows when and where I might end up ... suddenly one day you may take the phone and there I pop out in your living room!