Tuesday 20 March 2001

Pic of the day: The road of winter becomes the road of spring before my eyes.

Waiting when it's too late

I slept a full night, which was quite welcome after the voyage. In fact, I was falling asleep over and over during the evening, so I was quite thankful to find a bed even if it was cold. Lots of people seem to think it should be freezing cold in the bedroom. I prefer a more moderate temperature.

My nephew used up his Sims-playing quota early in the day. His parents don't want him to sit in front of a computer all day, which I can sort of understand. He might end up like me or something. :) No, actually it is probably not a good idea for children to skip the part of their childhood where they develop their muscles and the reflexes that control them. Just in case life in the future consists of more than sitting in front of a PC. (I'm not so sure of that, even for farmers. But there is always a certain risk that there may be other skills required.)

***

After lunch, I took a walk with my digital camera. Perhaps this place is so beautiful to me because I grew up here. You be the judge of that ... in all honesty, this is not a pretty time of the year, photographically. But there was one motif that I doubt I would find at any other time of the year, and it spoke to my heart. As I had walked the old road nearly to its end, suddenly before me I saw that the snow abruptly ended. In a couple steps, the winter seemed to end and the spring begin. As if the road had suddenly changed from a simple path through space and become a path in time too, the future opening up in front of my very eyes.

I guess I could say something deep and poetic about how there will always be spring after winter, sunshine after rain, and morning after night. But your imagination is as good as mine, right?

***

Tomorrow there will be a smaller arrangement for the family. Thursday is the funeral. In a way, this is a time of waiting. But it is a waiting without expectation. And without dread, really. It is a waiting that is not quite really waiting. It is a waiting when it is too late. When it is really over.

Meanwhile, life goes on. This is the time of year when the goats give birth, and daily new kids arrive. The air rings with bleating. There is not a truckload of spare time for farmers with a new barn being built day by day, and three small children. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I can't say. But I think as long as there are children, there is hope. I'm not decreeing this as a rule to follow, I am just stating an observation. It may be that young people breed through ignorance, but later in life children provide meaning to lives who need it.

Of course, others may have other meanings in their lives. Is one sense of meaning in life right and another wrong, or is it enough that there is meaning? I guess the answer to that question depends on what the meaning in your life is ... And I don't say "if any". Even if it's just the next meal or the next fix, humans always wait for something. A human life consists largely of looking forward to something, eyes on the road ahead. As is good and proper, for that is the only way we can go.