Saturday 17 July 1999

Slept for 8 hours this night and dreamt a lot. Most vividly I remember getting a room on a small hotel. In the room stood a large suitcase that I had left last time I stayed there, a long long time ago, and which I had actually forgotten. It contained mostly books. I was impressed that it was all intact.

I socialized a bit with the other guests and did some small tricks. The next highlight of the dream is the evening meal, during which there breaks out a very emotional discussion among the guests. It's about lesbians. One woman claim that lesbians are a persecuted minority, whereupon a small middle-aged (and then some) woman jumps up and yells that they are disgusting sinners! She is shaking with emotion. A young and unusually chubby woman stands up and reveals that SHE actually IS a lesbian. Now commotion breaks out, as one says one thing and one says another.

At this point I rise from my chair and gain everybody's attention by grabbing a bowl of red berries, which I show them all and the young lesbian in particular. As I focus on it, the content change into orange slices and finally stabilize as freshly cooked white rice. I turn to her and say: "In the same way, I have the power to transform the intricate circuitry in your brain. It is slightly more difficult, but I can make you straight." And indeed, an intricate pattern is superimposed on her head. "But the question is: Would you want that? It is your choice." But she cannot answer, nor anyone else. They are just staring at me. Like they'd never seen a miracle before.

I am sure I could surgically reduce my own temptations without even getting near my brain with a knife, but I can't say I find the thought appealing. Not at all. On the other hand, I don't act on every little impulse that come out of my limbic system. Nor do the gays and lesbians, I would suppose. Not that I would know. I've never met any in real life. Hey, give me time, I'm only 40, and this is one of the more liberal countries in the world. (Well, at least regarding sex.) Sooner or later I'm going to see a real, honest-to-life gay or lesbian, if I live long enough. I bet that would be like something out of a fairy tale... Not really.

My first telekinetic dream was shortly after puberty, I think. I remember it because it was such a thrill. I would point at those big concrete pipes, too heavy for me to lift with my arms then or even now, and they would jump a short jump through the air. It was wearying but exhilarating. As the years have passed, my in-dream telekinetic skill has grown. A couple years ago (?) in a dream I blasted an entire hill open to save a couple people from a rising flood. I woke up so tired that I could barely see. This is often the case whenever I over-extend my magic in dreams. Cool, huh?

I think I was over 30 the first time I teleported in a dream. Again this was quite exciting the first times. I still like it, actually. It would have come in handy in real life, especially to get to work in time... But of course nothing of this works except in dreams. Dreams are a world apart. Or lots of worlds.

On the rare occasion I will playfully put an arm on my best friend's shoulder or some such, she looks at me and says: "In your dreams!" But that's where she is wrong. In my dreams I don't touch people, or even get close to people, except for sex or in extreme cases to kill. (Of course I don't dreamkill the same people that I have dreamsex with.) Closeness is a thing of my waking life only - and very rarely even then. In my dreams I am not quite human ... more like a spiritual entity, travelling from body to body, from life to life, learning, growing more secure with my powers. At least most of the time. Some of my dreams are more local, more like real life. But not quite. Not like enough to touch.