Sunday 18 July 2004

Pic of the day: I wasn't outside today, but here's a picture I took a while ago.

Better now

I did not suffer any more cramps or loss of consciousness, and my leg was almost completely healed during the day. Sooner than ever before after such a cramp, I think. I was even tempted to take a walk, but reason prevailed.

Instead I stayed indoors and tested out playing two heroes at the same time in City of Heroes. I have activated the second account so I can create more characters and play two of them together. There are some problems with it, though. More about this in the near future, if any.

The episode yesterday also made me look at my religion more honestly. But what I have thought is not yet ripe to set in stone here. After all, from the age of 15 my religion has been the only center of my life. People come and go, but I don't much care. Even when my mother died, it wasn't all that big a deal. Don't get me wrong, I knew it was a big deal for her, as my death will be a big deal for me. But she wasn't a fixed point in my life. There is no fixed points in my life outside me. Family, friends, work, home ... these are incidental, as separate from me as the clothes I wear. If the world was such that bodies could be changed, I would not feel anything momentous about upgrading to another body. My body is not me either, although having one is important to me.

In light of this, it goes without saying that a major change in how I see my spiritual position is a big deal. I cannot move in haste here even though I seem to see profound changes. They are not ones I have hoped for, for the most part, and I have very mixed feelings about it. I have told you some of it already, and will try to write more at some later day. God willing ... I guess.