Saturday 19 February 2005

Pic of the day: I hope these pictures from the anime Ah! My Goddess are visible to you. I don't usually have three pictures in one day, but among them, they say it so well. Also the expression of astonishment in the first picture and sincere pity in the last is worth the load time, I think.

A dream within a dream

Just in case the pictures are not sharp on your monitor, or you may be blind, I'll quote the text.
Woman: "I'm astonished. We're not in elementary school anymore, you know."
Man: "P-People should take their time before doing things like that."
Woman: "If you think like that, then dating a girl is only a dream inside a dream for you."

I probably don't need to specify what "things like that" mean in this context. Even in the anime itself, it was only implied. But the truth is that even as a young man, I had the same attitude as Keiichi, the young man here. And indeed, this is how it went.

***

A dream in a dream ... that's pretty far removed from reality, isn't it? If the dream comes true, it is still a dream. If I dated a girl and she actually liked me (unlikely enough in itself) it would still not come to anything, because I did not have the need that drive other men into action. Not that my body is profoundly different, but my soul is. To crave something, to feel the need for it, you have to be discontent, you have to feel some kind of emptiness. But for me, lack of pleasure is not a pain. And lack of companionship is not loneliness. They are both just neutral, states of balance, they are my idea of "normal". Normal for me, I guess, not for really normal people...

A dream inside a dream. Yes. That's how far removed it feels. Thinking about a dream within a dream.