Saturday 17 February 2001

Pic of the day: Fire and blood or streets of gold? It may depend on the eye of the beholder ...

To serve in Heaven

I see that proud men say, "it is better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven". Presumably they are citing a fictional speech by Lucifer. I've pondered this attitude, and found that it could really save some construction costs for God. Of course, that's hardly a point for God, so let's approach it as a science fiction story instead. It would make quite a nice one, I think.

***

For starters, we need two extra planets, reasonably Earth-like. In fact, the ideal would be to take our own Earth, just using two divergent time streams or some such. Alternatively, I guess you could just build copies if you have enough resources. The essential thing is that the two worlds be separated by some obstacle that their inhabitants can never cross. Lots of space would help, but of course it would be best to have them in alternate "dimensions" - parallel universes. Pick one of the completely equal planets randomly and designate it "Heaven". The other is named "Hell".

Now select the people who don't want to serve, only to rule. Those who want to be respected and obeyed, rather than respect and obey. Throw in those who always wants to get the better deal in any trade, and those who laugh at others' misfortune or can't stand seeing others being happy or fortunate. Give them an injection of nanobots programmed to keep them alive but infertile indefinitely. Skip them all off to Hell and let them loose.

Likewise collect the people who like to serve, those who like to make others happy, those who want to inspire hope and trust and happiness in others, those who are willing to give a little bit more than they get, those who can overlook small errors and those who delight in seeing others happy. Give them the injection too and skip them off to Heaven.

Pretty soon, the people of Heaven are going to band together to improve living conditions for all. The more they work together, the more they see the need to help others, and they will day by day be pleasantly surprised by the good things others do for them. This spurs their own creativity to come up with some way to do something nice for their new friends. Of course there will be the occasional misunderstanding, since each tends to imagine that others like the same as they do. But as they get to know each other better, they will start to hit the nail.

Meanwhile, back in Hell, people will also seek together ... not to help each other, but to find people to dominate. Needless to say, they won't find the willing audience they expected, ready to follow their words. So eventually they will resort to coercion, manipulation and even violence to recruit their minions. Their competitors will continually try to steal their serfs from them, while the subjugated ones will be more than a little bitter and hatch schemes for escape and revenge. The more they learn to know each other, the more elaborate their schemes, and the more grudges they will rack up. Their means of revenge will grow ever more extreme, until they've come up with tortures we can barely imagine.

While the Hellions are digging their own fire & brimstone pits, the citizens of Heaven are eagerly building new improvements for their beloved neighbors, happily toiling away to produce needless but decorative works of arts ... such as gold pavement for the streets...

***

Of course, this is not how it is actually done. It's just a fictional story. But if you ask me, I'd rather serve in Heaven than spend my time in Hell with people who demand that everyone respect their authority. If you make others happy, I'll respect you at no extra cost.