Wednesday 10 April 2002

Pic of the day: "I will bring you safely to the morning light." Screenshot from Dark Age of Camelot.

Spiritual distribution?

And like the same sun that's rising on the valley with the dawn
I will walk with your shadow and keep you warm;
and like the same moon that's shining through my window here tonight,
I will watch in your darkness and bring you safely to the morning light.

Chris de Burgh, The Same Sun (from the CD Quiet Revolution).

***

Much as I occasionally suddenly find out that I would like to be pure and holy, the fact is that I am not really a saint. Well, not by the standards of saints. I may be slightly better at it than at being a sinner, but I'm really not big on either on them. And the years are long gone when I could think of Snow White and the seven dwarves without wincing. Innocence, once lost, is not easily recovered.

Frowning in my solitude, I realize that this seems to have limited bearing on my spirituality, such as it is. The content of my spirit may be in danger, but the awareness is another matter. It seems that spirituality, once found, is not easily rescinded. Nor am I sure I would truly want to. In fact, there are times when I miss my magic. But I forswore it quite wholeheartedly at the time. I suspect that magic, once lost, is not easily recovered. That's OK, I like this world that mostly follows the rules of physics. When you're not there, you never know for sure whether it's the world that is fluid, or just your brain.

But it strikes me that even though I have forsworn the physical application of my spirit, others may not be so bound. Now that is a fascinating thought. Let me exemplify.

***

When I am together with my best friend (and I mean this strictly in a non carnal sense, people) it seems that the grass is greener, the sky is bluer, the music is more musical and life itself is more alive. As if her aura somehow intensifies my own perceptions of this reality. I don't think she is aware of it, certainly not attempting it in any way.

I have a different effect on people. When I am there, they can solve problems that seemed insurmountable before I arrived. It is not restricted to computer stuff (and even then, it may be things I don't know myself) but basically anything that requires logical reasoning and seeing connections. Suddenly people go "oh yes! That's it!" even though I have not contributed in any way that I am aware of. It is kind of nice when they are all grateful. With computer stuff it is even more pronounced, sometimes seeming indistinguishable from magic ...

But does this really require my physical presence? If it is a thing of the spirit rather than the body, it may be possible to tap into me from a distance. I admit outright that I am not sure about that. It may depend wholly on the belief of whoever does it.

Now that is a creepy thought. Would I be responsible for whatever people used my spirit for? Somehow I don't think so. And frankly I think the applications would be fairly limited. But really, if guys like Chris de Burgh and Leonard Cohen can do this trick of jumping time and space, it should probably be possible for me too. They may be good at what they do, but they're hardly gods.

Of course, there remains to see what benefits my spiritual presence would confer. Judging from my appearance in people's dreams, the computer thing does not go very deep. Rather I seem to be a metaphor for solving problems. And, well, I think that is truer to who I really am. But you may want to try for yourself. Just don't do anything I wouldn't have done. ^-^