Thursday 26 April 2001

Pic of the day: The thick fog comes in from the sea. Fog's pretty thick in my skull too.

Sick transit gloria

"I belive, but I don't really believe" admitted my best friend. "If I was the only believer left in the world, and I had to move a mountain to prove it, I would doubt, and the mountain would not move." I think she has a point there. Despite the numbers of believers now being around 1 billion, there is not a lot of mountains moving about. This may be just as well, as they are probably where they are for a reason. And imagine how air traffic would be hampered if mountains were constantly moving back and forth, presumably through the air. Still ... it is a little thought provoking. Perhaps I am just easily provoked.

For instance, to use my favorite example: I put the milk in the fridge without a second thought. Driving out the evil bacteria in Jesus' name does hardly ever occur to me. In fact, it almost sounds like blasphemy. To use Godpower when we have electricity. And so on ... these days, God is mostly left to handle the worst forms of cancer, isn't he? And really bad cramps, I guess.

***

As you may have guessed, I am not feeling too well today. I went to work only because I have a rather specialized job running these days. I had the sniffles bad, and it hasn't improved. I feel almost like when I'm allergic, back at the farm. Eyes and nose are running, throat is sore, and sometimes I get the coughs. Gaah. My head is hot and my tear ducts and nasal passages are raw. It might actually be allergy, but I much doubt it. I don't get pollen allergies, usually, so it is more likely a virus. Particularly since my best friend had much of the same symptoms when I visited her.

So that's what brings up these thoughts of religion. Actually I don't think it is quite that bad, except very rarely when I get the coughs. I so hate not breathing. But I like to think that my religion is a bit more than just fear of death. And that brings me back to the start. If I believe in God, and in Jesus, and if I think I have some kind of hotline to Heaven, why am I still sick? Why can't I just use some of that divine power and heal myself?

I've said that I gave up on psionics, stopped believing in them. Not because they weren't real, but because they might as well not be. They were simply not worth the trouble. But Healing would have been kind of nice. How can I claim that I don't just theoretically believe, but have actively experienced something which I think is part of the divine? If I know how to reach out to God's aura, or whatever it is, why can't I use that power on myself and others? Is it all just emotion, a kind of self-inflicted trance that does not stand up to real-world virii and bacteria?

***

In Norway we have an expression that translates as "glory theology". I am not sure if that is an imported expression from America. (There is certainly something American about the whole idea.) It is a form of christianity that basically say that you can have anything you want if you believe. Are you sick, it's because you don't believe enough in Jesus. Are you poor, it is because you have not asked Jesus for money. Jesus paid our debt, and we are healed by his wounds.

I admit that this would make a pretty good PR for the religion. And why not? Did not Jesus heal lots of people, and his disciples too? Yet there is something that just does not sound right.

When Jesus reportedly did one of his miracles, feeding thousands of people with a boy's lunch box, people gathered around and wanted to make him king. He was quite annoyed, it seems. He accused the people of just wanting him for the bread. And he just may have been right. (OK, if he actually was the Christ, we can pretty much assume he was right.) If a religion can assure you food without working and heal you whenever you are sick, you may be likely to join it regardless of what your innermost beliefs are.

Jesus himself was reputedly tempted to make stones into bread, but refused. He was tempted to step down from the cross, but didn't. But it's still different. He knew he could do it, it just wasn't meant to be. But I live in a mechanical world, mostly. Rational. Wouldn't a miracle be good for me? Wouldn't it make me a better christian or something? "I have seen God's power, and it is real!" Or would I, being me, go "look at me, what I have experienced! The faith expert is in the house!" It's hard to know.

Am I such a noble, humble guy? Or is it just that I don't really believe all that much in my supposed religion? Well, as I've said before, it is quite a miracle that I am alive at all. (Just speaking for myself, not all of us organisms on this pebble, though that too is mighty strange.) I guess I should be thankful, and bear my sniffles with quiet dignity. I'm sure there are many who would jump at the chance to be in my condition.

Still ... just a tiny little miracle ... it would be kinda cool?

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Incidentally, the title line is a play on the Latin expression "Sic transit gloria mundi", meaning "In this way passes the glory of the world".