Slice of Chaotic Life

I was staying up longer tonight, my guts being more active than they should be at this time of the night. Eventually I was feeling unpleasantly cold, so went to bed. As I laid down, I could feel my heartbeat. It was slow. Very slow. Curious and slightly worried, I grabbed the smartphone by my bedside and ran the heart rate checker. It showed 46 beats per minute. The shock of seeing the number so low made my heart speed up to over 50. Light knows what it was before I noticed. But it was really slow.

A low resting pulse is usually a sign of very good health, but in my case it is entirely out of proportion.  To have a resting pulse like this – and it was even slower when I first noticed – I would have to be a national-level athlete. But I have never even run the 60-meter, because of my exercise asthma. It is like my heart lives its own life (and not in a romantic sense). It beats slower and slower for each passing year, if not month. If it continues this way, there will be a point where it stops entirely.

Of course, there have been those other times when it sped up, sometimes to above what should be its maximum. As we said about the horse back on my childhood’s farm: It had only two gears, too slow and too fast. I thought that was funny, but not so much when it is my heart which my life depends on.

That said, it’s been a good time. I just don’t want it to stop for no good reason.