Monday 4 October 1999

Pic of the day: Reflections.
Yes, of course this picture is digitally manipulated. I have no mirror twin. Think of it as art for the artificially challenged. :) By the way, did you know that I was afraid of mirrors - and dark windows - when I was a child? I can still feel it sometimes late at night.

This morning I woke up (Yay!) and from a Daggerfall dream. I did not dream that I played Daggerfall, but that I was a character in Daggerfall. Obviously I still haven't got enough of it ... though it might be pretty close. In the dream my arms and back hurt from all the melee fighting. I was happy to wake up and find that nothing but my right wrist hurt, and that only a little. :)

To desire what we cannot have: This leads to unhappiness.
Few would disagree with those words, but can we avoid such suffering? Many of our demands are quite reasonable. We want to eat when we are hungry, to drink when we are thirsty, to sleep when we are tired. We want to be free from pain, and to be accepted for who we are. Yet even these basic longings cannot always be fulfilled.

I have known some who were stopped in their tracks by what seemed a cruel fate. But they withdrew and regrouped, then found new ways to use their time and those resources still left to them. They gave up the ambitions and desires that were now pointless, and spent their time where they could still make a difference.

I would not want to be tested in the forge they were in. Yet to never at all have to do this, would be even worse. For the only way to avoid stepping back is to die young. Our bodies will sooner or later start to fail us, and to fail the desires which were once within our reach. Our strength, our stamina, our keen senses subtly start to give out. And in later years, even our brains may start to slow down and some memories go fuzzy, some skills are dulled. Where we once advanced like a victorious hero, we now have to withdraw, step by step. Either that, or taste bitter defeat.

Better then to stop while there is time, to think, and to limit ourselves to what we can do. It is better to accomplish the small with honor, than to fail the great with shame. And a wish come true is a tree of life for the soul. Even if it is a small wish...

After I had written all of the above, I suddenly heard a song within me. The melody sounded familiar, like one of the old popular songs, not from the last couple decades at least. Like something from my childhood perhaps. It may have been a real tune, though I cannot say for sure. Of the text, only the first line was clear: "Seven times the rightous fall, but seven times they rise."

Not that I count myself as an expert on righteousness suddenly.