Coded yellow.

Monday 1 October 2001

Censored screenshot The Sims

Pic of the day: Sim porn. Or perhaps not.

P0rn

I originally thought to write this in my LiveJournal, but it quickly became clear that it is too big for a quick message board style entry. I would have to reduce it so much that it could not help but be misunderstood, and then it would be worse than nothing. Perhaps it still is, but it is worth a try. I'm going to write my thoughts about pornography. (No actual porn will be included in the text.)

This all came up in my thoughts because I read a web comic, which linked to another web comic, which linked to a third web comic, which was sexually explicit to say the least, and completely surrounded by moving colorful porn banners. Technology is certainly progressing apace, is it not? With these moving GIF pictures, you can see people in repetitive motion. I am surprised that the creator of said web comic has not employed this technology himself, in particular as regards the poor boy who is prone to relentless masturbation. Yeah, I read the entire web comic and found it hilarious. It's not just sexually explicit, it is completely and utterly depraved, with the poor characters always coming in the most embarrassing situations because of their misguided sexuality. Anyway, back to the topic at hand: Pornography!

I am not sexually stimulated by pornography. On the contrary, it is basically a turn-off. I haven't given this much thought, seeing as I am not normally confronted with pornography. I see the magazines in the international bookstore at Narvesen (a kiosk chain here in Norway) but I habitually ignore them. I did read a little porn back home at the onset of puberty, presumably left in my room by my helpful older brother. But after a while I found out that it was not very instructive, and borrowed some good books at the library to explain me the mysteries of human sexuality. (And look what happened! No, actually there are other causes and effects here. I think I have mentioned that in the past.)

Anyway, no. I just don't find porn sexy. Now that I think about it, I have a theory of why. But I don't know if it's the right theory. There are actually several possible explanations, but this is the one I find most likely: I think it may be due to my lack of sexual experience.

The reason for this thinking is that I am not immune to sexual temptations. But the things that "turn me on" are much more subtle. Body language, choice of clothing, accidental "overexposure" ... things that are much closer to my everyday life. So I think, maybe this is because these are things that I can reach, things that are within range, things that I can see and imagine. While the actual sexual intercourse is so far removed from my everyday life that it is essentially meaningless to me now.

I mean, it could be like money. $1,000 is understandable, it's the price of a home computer. $10,000 too, it is the price of a nice used car. $100,000 is the price of a small apartment in the city or a small house out in the countryside. (OK, perhaps not anymore, but it's close.) People can relate to these amounts of money. They can react emotionally to them, to winning them or losing them. But $1000,000,000? That kind of numbers don't make sense. It is so much money you can't count it. You can't spend it. You can't win it or lose it. It is just math. (Sometimes I notice that newsmen on the radio read million for billion, or occasionally the other way around. Sometimes they discover it, sometimes not.)

It's the same way with me and sex, perhaps. It's just so out of the way, so far removed from my everyday life that it does not connect emotionally. It's like you're a 10 year old kid and you drool for a new pedal bike but you ignore the ads for new cars. They don't "turn you on" because there is simply no way you could get from here to there within the time frame your brain operates on.

Of course, this theory would be shot to pieces if other nerds are excited by porn. Frankly, I'm not sure what the status is there. I don't discuss this much with people. There is this shadow of suspicion that perhaps it's not quite like that. Perhaps other guys who don't get any, still enjoy pornography? But then, they probably don't think of it as impossible. Perhaps they have had sex before, for long enough to start to like it. Or perhaps they believe that sure, it's just a matter of time now: Any day some shapely girl is going to sidle up to them and ask in a husky voice: "Wanna make out?" (I think that is the current expression.) Me, I'm not holding my breath. And besides, what would I do? Marry her? I'm supposed to be a Christian, for God's sake!

I do hear that many Christians use pornography, actually. I'm certain Smith's Friends would not do that, but I'm not so sure about other congregations. My comic retailer also has a small shelf of porn, and he says that middle-aged well known Christian men come in there and wait and wait until there are no other customers, and then hurry and buy some porn which they hide before leaving. He could just be making that up, but I don't think so. I've heard similar stories elsewhere, of respectable old men having caches of porn when they die. So I don't think being a Christian means that you don't like porn anymore. You may have to avoid it, if you think it is a sin. But I don't think the lust just disappears.

Anyway, I just thought this was all very strange. I certainly don't find it all that easy to keep my thoughts pure from lust, but gross things like porn just don't stir me at all. It's kinda like food: I may get hungry at the smell of a good dinner, but not by seeing other people chew and swallow. So, what do you think?

Oh, and the comic in question is "Sexy losers". You may understand why I would follow that link. But I don't think you want to go there.


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