Friday 26 November 1999

Pic of the day: And here, the candlelight. Stupid me, burning candles when electricity is so much cheaper, safer and more efficient!

It was a dark and stormy night. In fact, the dark and stormy night has barely even begun. And while I'm sitting here sniffing scented candles, most of my coworkers are out on julebord. This word, which your average machine would translate as "spanking table", is actually a Yule party. A heathen tradition that has survived until today, it is commonly associated with unrestrained eating, unrestrained drinking, and unrestrained fornication (if the physical condition allows, which is far from certain at the end of the evening). Here on the pious South Coast, things are hardly at their most extreme. Some overeating and flirting is sure to occur, but probably nothing that will represent an immediate health risk. Still, this kind of carousing is not my style. It would be stupid of me to waste my time there, not to mention some money. (The employer pays some, too.) And I do enough stupid things at the time, thank you very much.

"Stupid is as stupid does", they say. Ouch! I really hope that isn't true, or I have to downsize my ego again.

It all started as I came to the bus stop. I use a month card on the bus. Actually it's a 30 day card now, and electronic. Yesterday was the last day it was valid. I could have renewed it any day, but I usually wait till the day it is expired. That was today. I had put aside money for it ... it costs kr 500, that is $62.50 (and the same in Euro, muahahaha! Told you so! Ahem.) Anyway, I had kr 475. So I had to pay an ordinary ticket. I had thought about grabbing the bus money but had not actually gone and picked it up. Stupid does!

Before I was even in the doors at work, the first question that was asked me was how things went at the doctor's. Huh? I thought I had an appointment there after lunch today. No, it turned out, it was this morning. I had it all programmed in, but still somehow had managed to convince myself that it was after lunch. And I really should have been there. Not that I'm in pain or anything, but I did have a few questions. Now I guess I'll have to wait another year, or until I get acutely ill, whichever comes first. Stupid does!

And I've already told you how, a couple days ago, I destroyed the second half of my novel in progress. I had forgotten that this computer had US keyboard mapping rather than Norwegian, and so I typed a ">" instead of a ":" and the file was gone. Stupid DOS!

The casual reader (friends, family, coworkers ... any non-writer) will probably also nurture the suspicion that this whole online diary is stupid. Why humiliate myself on the web by telling about my everyday blunders, errors, paux pas and gaffes? Why not just post my IQ scores (which used to be quite good) and excerpts from the success stories of the dozens of Norwegian companies that have saved fortunes by using my software? That way my mother could be proud of me (as I am of her). And the same for my best friend, the Superwoman, who now doesn't dare read the thing because it makes her cringe.

Why humiliate myself like this? Let me reply, why does Bill Gates give millions of dollars to libraries and schools? Well, basically he's still obscenely rich afterwards and some people feel better off. And so is the case with me too. Even after making a fool of myself daily for over a year, I'm still too proud for my own good. And it does have some entertainment value, doesn't it? :)

I have to go see a jeweller too, soon. Or goldsmith, as we call them around here, though they are basically jewellers. I don't have the faintest idea how to behave with the alliance ring I gave Superwoman last year. I know one is supposed to expand the non-metallic part of them once a year, but how can I do that when she's countries away? Stupid me, to not check that before she went!

The whole idea, however, was not stupid. It was just plain crazy. If I expected her to buy me stuff in the future, it would be Friendship. If I expected her to sleep with me at some future time, it would be True Love. (Or so I've been led to believe. I've read a lot of books and found that True Love tends to make people sleep together.) But to like someone so much for just being who they are, that must be crazy. And crazy is as crazy does.
Crazy: When stupid just ain't enough.