Wednesday 3 November 1999

Pic of the day: The autumn is almost done with the forest now.
(I had another picture for this day originally, but decided not to risk leading some of my readers into temptation ... though most will probably find their way by themselves.)

The night was not ideal. I woke repeatedly from the feeling that there was something stuck in my throat. There was not, it's probably just tonsils or some such supportive tissue that was slightly enlarged. Finally I woke up shivering, gave up and rose. I fell aslep late in the morning, and took a day off.

I am kind of a control freak regarding my body. I retain almost at all times a high awareness of such things as respiration, heartbeat, body temperature and muscle tonus. I also monitor my emotional states in a similar way, and routinely adjust one or more parameters for stability. I guess much of this is a habit from the time I practiced meditation regularly. It is nice to be able to get into the cold without freezing, or to suppress temporary pain (for instance at the dentists ... incidentally I'll get the chance next week). It is also nice to be able to go into a state of euphoria (you may know it as getting high) without the use of chemical additives. I try not to overuse this, however. The human brain is not made for constant and intense joy and pleasure.

But as you can probably guess, I feel so much more worried when my body does not fully obey me. Such as when I wake up shivering even though the temperature is within acceptable limits.

So, another day spent largely in my pajamas, relaxing. I'm still sort of playing "3rd Millenium" in the background. As I've mentioned, it moves at a constant, snail-like pace. After a week or so of real time (day and night) I'd got control of 3 states in Africa, and then the game ended in 2029 and I had lost, because the planet was destroyed by pollution. I'd appreciate if there was a warning or something before that happened. But then again, there are plenty of warnings in real life and who heeds them?

There also went quite a bit of time reading through a long thread on one of the mailing lists. Normally I delete most of the mails on the diary list, as they tend to be about local American cultural icons. This thread however was about whether or not a woman should expect her man to look at other women and eventually do more than look. The woman who initiated the debate had some rather peculiar notions about the sexual morality of men and women. Assuming that she was sober (always hard to guess when people write about those topics), she seemed to assume that women do not normally have sexual fantasies about other men than their current partner (if any). This based on the fascinating but rather unique experience of her own life. The women of the forum did their best to convince her that this was not normal.

I think it is sort of nice that there are still some prudes around. Of course, we may have different priorities. If I ever were to marry (which I guess we can truly reckon as hypothetical), I'd also like to have a wife who did not drool over other men. Including but not limited to Harrison Ford. But to be honest, I don't count on this being a realistic hope. (Then again, I'm not married either.) What I do think a man should be spared for is being contrasted negatively to a string of earlier husbands, lovers, live-ins and sleep-ins.

There is a joke that the reason Jesus wasn't born in Scandinavia, was the lack of three wise men and a virgin. Actually, here in Norway at last, a whopping 10% of first-time brides are virgins. Yeah, I was shocked too. I thought only Smith's Friends waited quite that long. (With the very rare exception both ways.) On the other hand, I am positive that far less than 30% of bridegrooms are wise men. They'll get the opportunity to learn, though.

For some reason, whenever I hear the beautiful love song "Can you feel the love tonight" (with Elton John, I think, from the movie Lion King) I think of it as "can you feed the dog tonight". I'm not saying that this has any deeper meaning. Then again, I don't say it hasn't...