Wednesday 27 November 2002

Pic of the day: The eternal fascination. (Screenshot The Sims.)

Cyclic redundancy of my life

It's once again the time to prepare for the Christmas holiday. I better buy train tickets now so I can spend the few days around Christmas with my best friend and her parents, brothers and sisters. We've mailed a little, establishing the time and such. It's good to have her back online. Anyway, I thought about it.

It's kinda weird how this has become a tradition. I guess it made more sense in the past. We were almost neighbors; they were the friends of mine who lived nearest. But now I'm traveling for hours to be with them. Also in the past, there were lots of kids and I got along well with kids. Now there are only a few toddlers and babies, the next generation, and they don't know me from Adam. The original kids are all grown up. I really don't fit in there, and I really shouldn't be there. But I still kinda love this one, and of course it helps that I like the rest of them too. They are friendly people and not stupid for humans. But the truth of it is that it's my one best friend who is the anchor that keeps me tied to it.

And even though I see her less and less for each passing year, we still meet during the holiday season, and every time I find that I still love her as much as ever. I am not sure that is a good thing. But it is pretty typical of me.

***

I've been playing a little Morrowind, after I fired it up to get that screenshot yesterday. I kinda enjoyed playing again, but it is harder on the wrists than Dark Age of Camelot. And Civilization II is also kinda hard on the wrist. I've been playing the Mars Now scenario from the Fantastic Worlds expansion. I love that too, but of course it will fade away again after some days or at most a week or two. It's been months, I think, since I played Master of Magic. I guess that could be one too. I looked at SimNation yesterday, but managed to restrain myself. It is very hard on wrists.

Yes, I have this tendency to return to old flames, and then they burn just as brightly as they did, or very nearly so. It sometimes happens with music too. For some reason I stumble on an old CD I haven't played for a long time, and I just enjoy listening to it again and again, sometimes for days. Then it kinda fades.

I can't say there is exactly a pattern in this. There has to pass some time in most of the cases, though a few of my activities can go on for years (like the journal, or my favorite RPG). Some things, like writing fiction, tends to depend on vacation or another period of enough sleep. And of course, spending time with my best friend tends to happen during the holidays, though any time is a good time. I would probably spend every day with her if I had the chance, because she just is that interesting.

Yes, I enjoy every day and every hour with my best friend. I like to watch her, to listen to her, to discuss with her, to shop with her, to play games with her (uhm, like Scrabble or Risk and such I mean), to eat with her at home or out, to listen to music with her ... she adds to almost everything I experience. Yes, I know how this looks. But then we go our separate ways – and they are more separate for each passing year – and life goes on. There is no pain in the separation, just the reduction of experience to its normal level. Normal is not bad, I like my normal life. Life with best friend is better, but not necessary. Each year I am reminded anew how good it is, and then each year I am reminded that I can live without it. Cyclic redundancy of life's beauty.