Sunday 17 November 2002

Pic of the day: Me and some of my friends in front of a siege engine we built. (Well, actually I just carried some of the wood.) Screenshot from Dark Age of Camelot.

Real imaginary friends

I have forgotten what comic I read this in. But a team mate was making some disparaging comment about "imaginary friends", and this character replied sadly: "Some days I think all my friends are imaginary friends." Implying that they were real people, but friends only in his imagination. It was a very poignant panel, and even so I can't remember where I saw it.

Now bear with me as the next paragraph is not likely to make sense, but I do have a point.

Today, Lucidar and Thura took me on a trip to Dartmoor with a few other friends of theirs, whom I did not know before. We agreed to meet at Cornwall Station, so I got my own ride there. I know the way from Cornwall to Dartmoor, but I haven't been much beyond the first valley. I knew about the local ponies, which are indeed quite a sight, but I did not know of the "Stone Giants". We were already far into Dartmoor when one of the girls got a call from a guy who was also in the area and wanted to hook up. Much to my surprise and delight, it was Norathet, a guy I had already met several times before and had only the best impression of. He had grown more mature since I first met him, but then again he was 37 now. I think he was less than 30 when we first met.

***

Back. Now, except for the somewhat weird names of the people, this sounds much like any British journal, doesn't it? A nice trip with friends, meeting an old friend in an unexpected place, enjoying the scenery. The big difference, of course, is that this all happened in Dark Age of Camelot. Despite some attention to detail, this is not the Cornwall you know, and not the Dartmoor either. (I am in fact slightly surprised that my spelling checker recognizes Dartmoor. I had not heard about it before I came to Albion.)

A Cornwall and Dartmoor that don't exist. And of course there are no paladins called Lucidar or Thura, and real people count their age in years rather than levels. For most of us, a ride halfway across the country is by car and not by horse. And granite cliffs are definitely not actual giants roving in bands and attacking people. Which may be just as well, since most of us are not very skilled with sword and shield and magic.

So the places don't exist, the things there don't exist, even the people don't really exist. And yet, in a strange reversal of the comic, the imaginary people are real friends.

***

What's a friend? Friends offer sympathy and attention. Friends are willing to sacrifice something for you sometimes, without keeping an account and asking for payment. Of course, if all is well you will do the same for them. But there is no account. Sometimes you give more than you get, sometimes it may be the other way around. A friendship does not need to be balanced. But there must be some common ground.

There are those who hold their pet for friends, and grieve deeply when a dog or cat dies. Yet their dog may have heard them out but never understood, and their cat never shared a joke. The people behind the keyboards are real humans, even if their characters are not. Sometimes we catch glimpses of that other, mysterious, "real life". People have to go to work or school, they have to pick up their wife or they get a phone from their boyfriend. But that's not really what makes them friends, though it does help make them human.

Friendship is about being together, about doing things together, about watching and listening without judging, about sharing things and thoughts. My imaginary friends do all that. We fight together and guard each other, we share gold and equipment with those younger than us. Some spend time at the forge crafting weapons for the others. These things are all imaginary, but the time we spend together is real enough, and the attention we give each other is real enough.

And you may say it is a sad thing that I can be myself more in a medieval magic fantasy than among my neighbors. I am not overly concerned. In the end, it is not the body but the soul that counts. Well, unless you make love, I guess, but we don't do that. Well, I haven't seen it at least. ^_^