Monday 26 November 2001

Pic of the day: A language without words, or a property investment? (Disclaimer: The picture is for illustration only, and the persons depicted are not identical to those mentioned in the text. Oh, and it's a screenshot from The Sims: Hot Date.)

Erotic property

An online friend found this expression, "erotic property", in some book she was reading. It's a funny expression in a way. Your first impulse could be that it meant a really sexy house, perhaps in the seashore zone. The rich people (such as they are) here in Norway are known to pay ridiculous amounts of money for small islands and such on the south coast. I guess that property is pretty attractive ... and probably a great place to make out on the warm summer days. What's the point of working hard and cut treacherous deals and manipulate the stock exchange on sleepless nights, if you can't make out on the beach when the weather is right? Excessive material goods are, after all, just a means to impress the chics. If not, you might as well spend your days gaining wisdom and inner peace.

Or perhaps "erotic property" could be an euphemism, a nice-word, for a bordello. Harlot-house. But personally I don't find the profession of paid sexual favors particularly erotic. Then again, I shall freely confess that I don't know much about it. I don't know many actual harlots, but my tentative impression is that they are not particularly enthusiastic about their job when they're not on it. Not that I've ever asked. I'm sure some of the upper class call girls are very competent, but I find the whole concept rather sad. Of course, your feelings may be different. I've long since given up expecting any rational basis for turn-ons and turn-offs.

But to me, the term "erotic property" sounds like a phrase some sex-starved male would cook up to show his resentment for not getting any for free. With all the pretty women in the world, I guess it can be pretty maddening to realize that they are already elsewhere engaged, at least if you still believe that you would have a chance if they were not. Property rights generally appeal more to those who have than to those who have not, you know; and I am sure the same would apply to erotic property.

***

I guess it goes without saying that I as a believer in Jesus also believes in erotic property rights. After all, he was the one who famously said that even looking at a [married] woman to desire her, was to commit adultery in one's heart. (Obviously this does not apply to looking at one's own wife. Not that I have any clear idea of how one would come that far in the first place. Why marry someone you don't desire? Wouldn't it be better to be just friends?)

But I'm not convinced it is a purely religious thing either. I think any responsible person should follow either the silver, gold, or Kant rule. At the very least not do things to others that you don't want them to do unto you. And would you really want others to size up your spouse, if any? People may be pretty liberal as long as the best they can get is one night stands. But once the barbed arrows of cupid are nested in their heart, they are likely to change their beat.

And even if you don't mind, or so you say, let's up the ante to the golden rule. Do you actively want people to compete with you for your spouse? Never mind that your spouse might think it a good idea, which may or may not be the case. But would you really want it? And do you really think your behavior could be used as a role model, as a universal law? I don't think so, because like it or not, most people are not nearly that "open". So even if it's OK with you, it's probably not OK with others.

You can probably tell that I've given this a lot of thought during the last 25 years ... it's not nearly as easy as it sounds. (And it doesn't sound very easy, either.) But in principle, that's how I see it.

***

On the other hand, I don't really think of it as property rights. I think of it as being considerate of other people's feelings. It's not a question of people being able to protect their investment.

I know some guys think that way. They've invested so much money, and time, and emotion in their Significant Other. They feel that they deserve, that they have the right, to demand exclusivity. To demand loyalty, even. But can you do that? Is it not more like respect, which can be earned but never demanded?

I guess I shall never truly know. For I do not hold others to my own standards in this part of life (and some other parts of life). I might be able to offer a surprising degree of exclusivity in an erotic relationship, but I would not expect it from the other. And I think that would be truly maddening. The Hoseah syndrome. (According to Christian translations of the Old Testament, this was a prophet who married a harlot. I'm not sure if this is really the correct reading, but that's the way we learn it.)

So perhaps it is best as it is, where I really don't really have that kind of relationships at all, and where I withdraw if I start to feel anything like that. Erotic property? Blessed are the poor.