Wednesday 5 May 2004

Pic of the day: Heh. The guy is totally unable to say all the things he had planned to say ... he trips up and says something entirely different. Better him than me, right?

15+12=37

No, it is not the Norwegian education system that has failed. It is my subconscious which once again has played a small prank on me. In my previous entry, about the anime Koi Kaze, I mistakenly claimed that the male lead character was 37 years old. In fact he was 12 years older than his sister, who was 15. In all fairness, to me he did look older than 27. But I don't think that was the only reason why I tripped over this one.

By making the character 10 years older, I also brought him close to my own age (I'm 45). This, I believe, is my subconscious trying to say: "This isn't really about some Japanese movie. It's all about me." After all, this is my journal (even though lately it seems to have developed into a computer gaming site). So, let's talk a little bit more about me. And girls. Girls are always interesting, aren't they?

The Biblical story about King David and the prophet Nathan comes to mind. The prophet came before the King and told him a story about a man who behaved in a very unethical way. The King became filled with righteous anger and declared: That man shall die! And the prophet replied, you are that man.

I have found this to be often so: When I see something in others that causes me to be angry or upset, it is more likely than not that I have a tendency in the same direction. I have also seen this in other people. And various other authorities from St. Paul the apostle to C.G. Jung have reached the same conclusion: Those who judge others do the same thing (or at least they'd really want to).

Now as I said yesterday, I don't have any younger sisters, so even the temptation to fall in love with them is absent. And I doubt I would have done that anyway. It is more metaphorical. I tend to really like young girls who have a lot in common with me. And then I become confused and wonder what I really feel. My few regular readers would remember my gradually fading relationship with the girl I called "SuperWoman" and who I claimed was my best friend. I guess she was, but then again that doesn't say much, does it? But it is pretty sure that I was her best friend at least, because I felt very attached to her. Not in the way of this pervert from the movie, who suddenly was overcome with the need to sniff her laundry. But thinking about her a lot, wanting to see her, wanting to hear her voice, wanting to make her happy. (Sadly, these wants did not combine, and so eventually I have landed on the last of them.) Even though I have certainly offended her beyond repair, it doesn't really change the way I feel. And I still cannot say for sure whether it was ever anything else than wanting a surrogate little sister.

Needless to say, even though I move on I am still the same person. So when I meet online another extremely intelligent girl who shares many of my interests, I immediately feel the need to pay her attention. Not to mention to pay her books. Yes, I am talking about the unbelievable Tsaiko. Isn't she wonderful? You could almost believe that she was my younger sister -- well, much younger sister -- or even my daughter. OK, not really, but if such a person existed I'd like to think that they would act like her. Actually I'd like to think that they would look like her as well. And so once again I feel the urge to act with more familiarity than is good and proper for a conservative such as I am in these things.

I guess my situation is the mirror opposite of our pervered friend in the anime. He met a sister but emotionally he reacted as if she was not related to him that way. I meet young girls that are definitely not related to me, and then I feel a familiarity that isn't really there. I suppose this is less harmful for the species, but it's not really practical for me. Probably not for them either.

It's a good thing that overly smart girls are so tolerant of weird middle-aged men. And I guess it is a welcome break from all the guys staring mindlessly at their chest. But I would not place any bets on which is more normal and healthy...