Tuesday 20 May 2003

Pic of the day: Roadside in spring. I took this picture one day I had time. Not today.

Clock speed

I see that on computers, the clock speed is cranked up every few months. I still have an old machine that goes like 10 MHz, I think this one is like 1.6 GHz or 1600 MHz, the previous one was 1.1 GHz. This is supposed to be a good thing. But it should not affect all the other clocks in the house.

Today I came home from work. I played a little DAoC, but only fairly briefly – like 2 bubbles, and that was with a really good group – and then I logged off because the Catwoman had meowed. I chatted a little while. (Well, technically that is what it is called, but the content is another matter: It may be informal, but I don't waste my time talking with strangers about the weather. It would be more fair to use words like discussion, exchange, encounter. I think the word encounter is very good, and we should have more of those. "Intercourse" has kinda been hijacked, and even the French "rendezvous" is more like a date now, but I think "encounter" is still saying what it was meant to.)

Before too long, she had to leave for more important events in the physical world. Then I watched a bit of anime. Not a whole lot, like 3 episodes or so. And then it was almost midnight. It only got worse after that. Reading through my year-ago entries quite rapidly, but every time I look at the clock it has jumped ahead again. At this speed, it will be morning before I am finished writing my journal, if I try to actually say something.

***

I am not really planning to shut down my journal, but it is kinda sad to have a whole day pass by and not say anything worthwhile. Life is so short already, and it seems I can no longer find time to both have fun and share something with others. I may have to choose between the two, and this is quite painful to me, for I love them both. (Somehow, nobody ever writes novels about this kind of love triangle. Oh well.)

I have anime I would have loved to watch, hours of it. I have music I would have enjoyed listening to. I have online friends I would have liked to talk to, and others I would play alongside with if I had the time. I have stories in my head to write down, and opinions on a lot of things. I have unread and half-read books. But for each sentence I write, I look at the clock and it has jumped again. So this is how it feels to grow old? Oh well. Given the alternative, I think I prefer growing old. I guess I will get more done that way. Marginally more, perhaps, but then a human life is marginal at the best of times. So small, so fragile, and yet so precious.

(In fact, so hastily did this day fly by that I did not get to read yesterday's Nova Notes before I wrote my own. Really. Kinda creepy, don't you think?)