Saturday 3 May 2003

Pic of the day: The pastor is writing his text. Alas, I have not written mine. (Screenshot from The Sims. Typewriter from Cheap Frills.)

Breast avoidance

I really meant to write something, but then I played The Sims and DAoC all day and all night. I have had fun playing with a couple of the new objects from Cheap Frills. The Novelist's Typewriter was a good idea, but it is way overpowered in money – I believe you earn well over §100 for each Sim hour. Novelist is not really such a lucrative career, even for the good ones it is a full-time job (and then some, usually). I guess I should not complain ... but I'd like if the computer came with a Write option that gave a moderate income and a moderate fun factor.

My current Sim family consists of only 1 character, called Pastor Solitario. Yes, I have used that name once before, in my unfinished novel Gwalawala. But this is a nice guy. I have patterned him, both in looks and attitude, on an online friend. He is an ordained minister, an atheist mystic and very fond of gamer girls. He also has 90% immunity to breasts, always a good thing. You never know when some of them might attack you during a sermon, for instance. There are almost always breasts in the congregation during a sermon. Now he usually only performs weddings and such, so it shouldn't be a big deal, but still.

***

No, really ... have you ever thought about that? How do preachers, professors and other public speakers deal with scantily clad (or otherwise outstanding) breasts in the audience and not get distracted? There may be a reason why so many teachers are women. (Actually, the official reason is the low pay. But why would women choose low pay over high pay when they choose a career? It sounds kinda suspicious to me. "Oh, and one of my main job requirements is low pay. If you cannot offer that, I'm so out of here.") After the state-owned Church of Norway opened up to female priests, they have swamped the place, even though at least some of them are bound to have read the New Testament some time during their studies and read that women should not be teachers. (Evidently St Paul the apostle found this important. But luckily for all the women who want to preach – and what woman doesn't? - St Paul does not give them their pay check. The state does. Opium for the masses and all ... although most people use TV for that now.)

When I'm an instructor, or back when I used to talk at Christian meetings, I am so focused on my message that I wouldn't have time to meditate on breasts even if I did not have a high Breast Avoidance skill. But I have. The secret is to acquire this skill early and practice it at every opportunity, and when it maxes out it is pretty much like a full immunity.

Of course, each advantage has a disadvantage. In case of Immunity to Breasts, there is a risk that women may think you want to be Just Friends. Risks? It is practically certain, from the limited sample of such males I know. Evidently there is a chronic shortage of Just Friends, so anybody who is qualified is hired immediately.

Just thought y'all wanted to know.