Wednesday 31 March 1999

Pic of the day: Hi, it's me again!

Yay! *wobble* Whee! I've got 5 days FREEEE!
I can barely believe it. I can barely remember it. Five days to myself? Five days to do whatever I want? It's so great it almost goes through the roof. So, my stomach is upset and there's war and rumors of war. But I'm not going to go to work for a whopping five days, long enough to practically forget what work is! Woo hoo!
This could only marginally been better, namely by spending the same amount of time together with the most interesting human I've ever met, and her large and fascinating family. But I just did that, and the time before that, and so on. In the name of most things that are decent, I guess there must be limits to it. And I'm quite excited at the thought of being by myself, which I had almost forgotten.

At work, the tape backup unit broke down and the serviceman had gone on (presumably well earned) Easter holiday. We were advised not to screw on it (to translate literally from Norwegian). Nor were we motivated, as there was quite enough to do.

Five days to do whatever I want! To sleep long in the morning, to play computer games until my wrists hurt, to make my own food and eat it until I'm nearly puking. I feel a scary understanding of the rich man from one of Jesus' allegories, who had stocked up on all the stuff he wanted and now just looked forward to enjoy life. I sure hope the outcome is somewhat different for me. But I doubt most millionaires are higher than I am right now, unless chemically assisted. Spring! Free time! Music! What more could you ask for, except possibly a nice girl? But when you're a millionaire, you don't know if the nice girl is there for you or for the millions. I know who my friends are. Yay friends!

I'd like to live forever. Honestly. Yes, I've thought long about this. When I was a kid, I thought about the prospect of eternity and concluded that I would not want to live THAT long. A few thousand years, perhaps. But surely not forever. But I've changed my mind. The longer I have lived, the more I love life, if that's even possible. I've mentioned that I don't get bored anymore. And the more I learn, the more I see what I don't know. There is a whole universe out there, and I'd love to live and learn more about it. But most of all I've found that I can enjoy myself and even the company of friends. Even if it didn't get better than this, I'd be happy for it to last. Not that this is an option, but even the life I live now is such that I'd be happy to extend it indefinitely. Not just today, but even the days when I'm not quite so high. Because I know that the sun will shine again. OK, so it'll stop shining in ca 5 billion years. But there are other stars out there...

OK, so I am not going to live forever unless a miracle happens. Yeah, yeah. But I still think it's a stamp of approval to a life, that it's worth living and living. Others may claim to have more of a life than I (as if such things could be measured), but review it and see: Is it the stuff of eternity? Mine is, humble as it is. I'm no longer just in fear of death; I am in love with life.

Sobering quote of the day: "Kosovo is not going to rise again on the third day." (Aftenposten, Norwegian conservative newspaper.)