Saturday 8 March 2003

Into the fog

It seemed to be on the verge of raining at lunch time, when I took my Saturdaily walk to the grocery shop. (A walk of about half an hour each way, as the nearer shop was closed last year.) The fields were still covered with thick blankets of snow, but along the road ran a large stream of meltwater. It reminded me of spring back home on the farm, when I would enjoy walking around and watch the snow and ice melt.

Spring used to come rapidly then, when it finally came in May. These days, I am living further south and we have had many mild winters before this cold one. People seemed surprised by the latest snowfall, as if spring should already be here in the beginning of March. But these earlier springs are slow, uncertain, gradual. We keep wondering: Is it spring this time, or not? The late springs that I remember were not like that. By May, the sun had already gathered enormous power, while the deep snow had kept a secure hold of the land for months. It was not so much spring as an invasion of summer, an overdue rescue mission by the sun and the warm winds. And we cheered for the liberators, and the trees hurried to dress in their finest green.

By afternoon today, the rain clouds gave way to fog, and it settled in. A chill returned, like a ceasefire, a compromise between heat and cold, between day and night as evening slowly seeped through the fog until all was dark.

***

Luckily there are things to do indoors as well. I think I run my newest computer harder than any I have had before. Tonight I was burning CDs (with fansubs, not rips) while downloading and uploading. While the machine was working on all this, I watched anime in the foreground. Currently watching Asagiri no Miko, about a small group of teenage temple priestesses wielding white magic to protect the district where they live. Usually there was little need of this, but then came this boy, a cousin of the 3 sisters ... What's it about cousins anyway? I considered writing about that today, but I think it can wait.

Anyway, the computer caved in after 7 CDs. Now I cannot use the CD RW station for anything, and cannot convince the computer that I've disconnected it even though I have. The pocket computer cannot connect to the main computer either. I feel another reboot coming on. But the Internet still works, so I'll let it run for the time being. It is great to have this 1024/256 ADSL, but I would honestly prefer the opposite: 256 Kbit/sec download and 1024 Kbit/sec upload. I am more of a giver than a taker, at heart.

That's what the girl in the dream told me too. I was trying to sneak into her mind to look for a way to stop the plague that was starting to claim the small minds in the area. I dreaded this, for I knew she was a strong telepath. There was little hope that even I could get in, but I had to try. She sensed me at once, and stopped me without even turning around. "I can see why you have come" she spoke in my mind. "I will tell you what I can, of my own free will; because you are at heart a giver, not a taker." And then I woke up. This was the end of a long dream, but the beginning is lost in the fog.