Friday 22 July 2005

Pic of the day: "There are sins that can only be relieved by confession." And even then they can not be undone, but this is not necessarily a bad thing.

Fate

Around 05:30 AM, another sparrow (or bird at least) crashed into my big window pane. The bird got away, but some clear liquid was running down the window pane from the point of impact. I wonder how long it will live. And I wonder, does God really need to make this point AGAIN about sparrows falling to earth? I have already read and contemplated on Matthew 10:29, repeatedly over the years. It is a very puzzling verse, and I may not yet have understood it the way I should. But if so, it is not for lack of sparrows, I think. But as usual, God knows these things better than I, and it's not like I can tell Him what to do or not to do if He really makes up his mind.

***

The extraneous computer that I bought a year ago is now in use at my workplace, I am happy to say. So in a manner of speaking, something good came of it. It is not being used to play City of Heroes there. Sometimes my failures are kinda negated so good things come from them. I have learned this too years ago. This does not mean they were not failures in the first place. They were.

***

I believe that time is a dimension, but one we can only perceive one way due to the nature of life as a series of chemical reactions. Therefore we cannot possibly know the future. This does not mean that the future does not exist. The future exists, and the past exists, every bit as much as the present. They are a continuity. Whether you say that the cause led to the effect or that the effect was the goal of the cause, it is just words. The cause and effect are sequential parts of the same continuity, each part existing with just as much reality as every other part, and they are not even really separate parts except in our mind where we pick the world apart. The world is not really apart.

The future exists and I can not change it. I have free will, so the future that exists is the future AFTER I have exercised my free will. Therefore I cannot possible change the future, because my decisions are already part of the future. I have already "changed" it, except not really, because there was never a future without my decisions in the first place. There is nothing mysterious about that. We are a part of the world, with our free will and all.

People sure think some crazy things. Like the stars made me do it, or my blood type made me do it. That is the crazy speaking. I did it. I can ask for forgiveness, but I cannot ask to not be responsible. The future is forever affected by every choice I have made or failed to make. Shifting the blame won't change that. The fact that something good comes from me doing something bad does not change that. I choose, or fail to choose. I cannot rise above fate in that sense. But I can raise above other people's fate for me, like advertisements and other temptations. Even that is not so simple. But I am more than many sparrows. I think.