Wednesday 16 July 2003

Pic of the day: The black cat does not even cross the road. It just sits in the middle of the road, not deciding what way to go.

Reasonable doubt

In national news, there is quite a bit of moral indignation over a retired politician, member of Stortinget (Norway's national assembly or parliament) for a couple decades and former minister in the Labor government. Evidently after retiring from politics, she has continued as a high-profile lobbyist and earned heaps of money due to her many inside contacts and long experience with the top layers of government. This money has been channeled into a company of which she owns 66% and has full control; but due to the rules here in Norway, it is possible to incorporate such a company so that there is no formal equivalence between the owner and the company. Thus she has received a plentiful pension while filling the treasure chests of her company. This pension would have been much reduced if she had just put the money in her own bank account like normal people.

In principle, of course, I enjoy seeing socialists exposed as greedy parasites, hugging and kissing the golden calf known as Mammon, Money or Capital. My level of amazement is very very low indeed. But I also think that rather few people would have resisted if they had the same chance, if they thought they could get away with it. Quite possibly she will get away with it, although the local Tax Office has now taken an interest in the arrangement. But she is already an object of ridicule, and this will continue no matter what. I guess as a former politician she does not have all that much to lose in that respect. And anyway, as I said, there is reasonable doubt as to whether we would have acted differently were we tempted like her.

***

The nice thing about being me is that I am not rich or powerful or respected enough to really get addicted to any of these things - neither riches nor power nor glory – and I guess I am walking in the opposite direction for the most part. But even so, there are lots of things I do that I should not have done. Well, actually, it is more like lots of things I should have done that I don't. I am too lazy to be evil, perhaps; certainly I seem to be too lazy to be good.

Toward the afternoon, I felt shame and doubt wash over me in ever greater waves. The more I thought about my life, the more I felt insufficient, as a worker and a citizen and a person. And I conceded that this may be reasonable doubt. There may have been rather too little self-recrimination lately. Perhaps if I got really disgusted by myself, I would change. Then again, perhaps I would just curl up and do even less. That would hardly be an improvement.

For sure, if you think I have no need to feel guilty and ashamed, then it must be that I have failed to accurately present my life to you. Like all humans, I guess I have a tendency to paint myself a bit too brightly if I don't actively look out for it. Hypocrisy is like, well, in Norwegian we refer to Original Sin as "arvesynd", inherited sin. I guess it is so bred into our bones that I cannot avoid it unless I actively aim in the opposite direction and present myself worse than I believe I am. Then again, since y'all presumably expect me to be a hypocrite like other humans, your imagination would certainly take flight if I helped you on the way. ^_^

I guess in the end I am not so much better or worse than other people. Less greedy, more lazy. Especially on hot hot hot hot summer days ... yeah, keep the excuses up. Reasonable doubt.