Tuesday 24 July 2001

Pic of the day: In the shadow of these ferns is a world of peace and protection and good food, if you're only small enough and simple enough. This picture is taken close to where today's event took place:

Snail in shadow

I was on my way to the commuter bus in the morning when I saw it. In the bright sunshine, a black snail was trying to cross the road. It had presumably started while it was cloudy - there were some clouds in the sky - and now was sliding oh so slowly toward the right edge of the road, where dew-wet grass beckoned. But in the sunshine, the tarmac would grow hotter for every passing moment. I looked at my watch, then placed myself so that my shadow fell on the road where it crept. I made sure the sun stopped just behind it, so that it would feel motivated to keep a move on, and the shadow extended toward the edge of the road. It swiveled its head once, then to its credit it moved at its best speed across the shadowy area.

The snail was nearly at the edge of the road when I had to hurry to catch the bus. I arrived with several seconds still to go. When I came back in the afternoon, there was no sign of it. Evidently it had made it.

***

It will come as no surprise to the long-time reader that I sympathize deeply with the snail. I certainly know the feeling. And wouldn't I want a higher being to help me out if I were in such a situation? And preferably in a subtle, non-terrifying way? Certainly. In fact, I have this vague but persistent feeling that this happens all the time.

In the Bible, the holy book of christianity, there is a passage about someone who thinks so too. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, who abides in the shadow of the Almighty". I vaguely recalled the phrase where I stood in the sunshine. It is actually from Psalm 91, originally a Jewish holy scripture, but who knows how much it has been altered in its conversion to christianity. (There are days when I wish I had a Jewish Rabbi as a friend ... it would have been very interesting to compare our books and the way we read them.) The psalms are written in a poetic way, sometimes cryptic. But I think this one is pretty clear. There is no doubt that the "shadow of the Almighty" is considered a good thing, a kind of protection, rather than a threatening presence.

But your mileage may vary. Certainly we tend to use the word "shadow" in a negative or disparaging way usually. A shadow is either something dark and sinister, reducing the brightness of life, or it is something without substance: A shadow of something else. And both of these are ways in which many see the Almighty, the Most High god of christianity and indeed of monotheist religions in general.

For instance, online I meet some people who are very different from who I know elsewhere. A while ago I got to know this man who was "gay", that is to say he would fall in love with men and wanted to be bodily intimate with them. (Not each and every man, of course, more like us only with the wrong polarity.) He had been raised in a deeply christian home, and had felt the chill of the shadow of the Almighty. Also others who thought differently from the faith they were raised in, have related the same experience. They felt that there was a shadow over their life until they broke out.

And there are atheists in the world - no big surprise there - but there are also people who don't really count themselves as atheists but just act like it. They regard the notion of God as a mere shadow, without substance, a blurry image, not a real thing. They do not venture outside the confines of the official religion - at least unless there is some obvious gain from it - but as far as religion is concerned, they live in a shadow world.

But for me it is good to stay near to the Lord. Well, reasonably near at least... We certainly have our disagreements on some subjects, though less now than in the past.

***

Are there other higher beings? I don't see why not. Apart from the Most High, there might be various High Ones watching us. I am not really concerned about it, though. If I can feel empathy for a mollusc, certainly someone who is far more developed will also be capable of higher sentiments. I don't think the snail was ever aware that I was there, that I was a living creature like itself. I don't really know how much they sense, but I dare say that it had no real idea of who I was, or of my comings and goings. There may be other creatures, created perhaps on other worlds or in other dimensions than our universe, who wander by our reality. Certainly I would like them to have the same attitude to me that I had to this snail. But realistically, they probably have their own agenda and we should just be thankful they don't step on us.

So personally I credit the Almighty for the rather sheltered life I have lived. Yet I do not think that those who suffer the rays of the sun are less on the mind of the Most High than I am. Really, that's a terrible thing to think, that someone who suffers a physical affliction is cursed by God or at least that the Almighty doesn't care. I know this thinking happens sometimes in some people. I don't think that is how it works.

By the standards around here, I have a rather pitiful income. I'm single and shockingly celibate, and have only a few friends in the fleshworld. My workplace is one that most people would be ashamed of mentioning (as am I, so I won't) and I have little status and less ambition in this world. Certainly there are those who feel that I am indeed to compare with a snail, a pitiful and disgusting little being who cannot possibly have a life worth living. The loser you would not like to be if you had the choice between living as a loser or ending it all. But because somehow I live in this sheltering shadow, the rays of the sun don't quite reach my tender skin. I'm happy for having my life and my limbs, simple pleasures such as a good meal and a good book, some friends and relatives to be proud of ... stuff like that. Oh, and my brain. Right now I cannot bear the thought of downgrading my brain. Though certainly that is going to happen too, if I live long enough. I enjoy it to the fullest while it is still in full bloom.

And I hope if the shadow moves on someday, that I shall be near the end of the road, and come to a place where the grass is full of dew, and the heat of the road will be forgotten for evermore.

And so I do unto snails as I would want to be done unto me, even though the snails cannot reciprocate or even understand what I do. Because in all likelyhood, neither can I.