Wednesday 27 January 1999


I'm just a little bit depressed tonight. It's not that anything bad has happened, as far as I know, but the opposite: I've overdosed so much on Infinity's latest album that I've "burned up" my reserve of joy neurotransmitters in my brain. This is a quite real effect, same as with pleasure drugs. It's not just that you feel down in contrast, you're actually less than usual joyful because you've over-exerted your system. Like all parts of us, the brain has its balance to take care of.
On the other hand, if you deny yourself pleasures on a regular basis, you risk bouts of uncalled for joy and long periods of elevated mood. I've tried that too. It's sort of weird, just walking along and suddenly you get ticklish all over and feel like taking off and flying away. :)
It's no big deal this time, anyway. A few hours of feeling empty. I'm not even crying. Then again, that takes a lot for me. I cry perhaps every other month on average, and usually just a few tears. As I've said before, my emotions are not jumping a lot.

Jumping, though, were the some hundred young people who had gathered in the frosty Oslo air to see Infinity live for a quarter of an hour. I wasn't aware of the mini-concert until yesterday, so had no chance to take a day off to go there. Luckily the Norwegian National Broadcasting was there. Nobody was freezing when the happy people played "Happy", their hallmark track. You could hear the neurotransmitters sizzle all the way to the south coast. :)

You know, being in the upper percentile of general intelligence doesn't mean you can fly or anything. You're just as human as the tabloids' core customer, with the same fundamental tendencies. It's just that you learn quicker and understand more of what's going on. So instead of thinking "Wow, this just feels so good" you think "Wow, this really stimulates my pleasure center and releases a load of unnecessary endorphins". But it feels just the same. And you want more of it just the same.

So, how does Rosa the Daggergirl dress for a hot city night in Alik'ra? Click Rosa's wardrobe page to see!

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