Monday 26 January 2004

Pic of the day: Picture of me. I'll try to introduce the computers when they arrive, if I can.

My computers and I

The nice thing with computers is that after a while I can buy a new one, with faster processor and more memory and lots of new storage space. With my brain, I cannot do that. I think my brain is in need of defragmenting. Then again, I may be doing that right now. I'll explain.

I've ordered two computers for no-urgency delivery. I'm doing fine as is, but I am starting to chafe a bit at their limitations. One is a new handheld, to replace Cassie who is past her 3 year warranty. The other is a new Fujitsu-Siemens Scaleo, the third in a row, with faster processor and more RAM for the next wave of gaming. Particularly useful if I am to play two accounts of DAoC at once – I can do it now but with some restrictions and pauses, and I have to stop the Anime client while I play. I also suspect that City of Heroes and The Sims 2 will expect the latest technology, given the level of detail in these games. I may also be able to increase the processing level of the speech recognition software, which is currently under half of the possible. (I'm not using that today, incidentally. My hand has recovered quite a bit since November. Break Reminder helps. I haven't used the painkiller gel much, hardly at all after the first week. Pain is, often as not, the body's way of saying: "Repent ye!")

***

Onward to the next point. I have been thinking about how this is probably the last generation of Pocket PC, as the next generation is likely to fuse with the mobile phone. Already there are mobile phones with some of the core applications of PDAs, such as calendar functions, memos, contact lists and small games. More is on the way. And some models of Pocket PC can be fitted with a mobile phone module. Which made me just briefly consider getting such a module. OK, consider may be too strong a word. The thought fluttered by my mind like a butterfly looking at a flower but deciding to move on to the next. You see, I already have a mobile phone (like almost all Scandinavians) but I don't use it. Because I ...

"Because I don't have anybody to talk to" was I about to say, but then I stopped. There was something wrong about it. "Because I don't have anybody to talk to who would understand me" I amended. This may well be true, but the fact is that I don't really know, I realized. The correct statement is: "Because I don't need anybody to talk to."

On the phone, that is. After all, I have you! Well, in all fairness it is not quite the same as talking to my best friend (when I still had a best friend, I guess). The big difference is that then I could listen most of the time, but here I have to do all the talking alone. But the need to express ourselves is, I believe, very deep in us. To convey to others what we are, etc. In a way, I guess it is a drive, like an instinct, only (since we are human) we can override it for a while and to some extent choose where to fit it in, unlike our less gifted four-legged friends. But in the end, we need to communicate. And because it is an instinct, it has this wonderful power to gather the mind. Well, it may seem like my mind rambles all over the place, but in fact it is a lot more focused than usual. In that respect, journaling is not entirely unlike prayer or meditation.

But like prayer or meditation, journaling is not always equally pleasurable. There are days when you cannot wait to begin, and days where you – OK, I – would prefer to spend the time playing Dark Age of Camelot instead. In fact, I think I'm going to do that now!