Wednesday 2 January 2002

Pic of the day: Isn't she pretty with the light of dawn on her face? And she's all mine! In fact, she's all me!

Many lives?

I have in the past ridiculed hobby-reincarnation. Not nearly enough, I think, but then I only have one life and I have other interests too.

Mind you, I do not ridicule reincarnation as a religious concept. It is central in several religions; and even in Christianity, Jesus says rather plainly that John the Baptist was Elijah the prophet (who didn’t even die in a conventional sense, but was taken away by some glowing flying object).

What I scorn is the notion that Jenny Random Citizen can visit her past lives for $50 an hour. This pseudo-scientific approach is so much more disgusting because it works, at least in many cases. The untrained victim will reasonably assume that the recalled memories are indeed of her (occasionally his) earlier lives. It is entirely possible that the shamans and therapists actually believe this themselves too. Hypnosis is not exactly rocket science, you know - it’s been around far longer than the bicycle.

I have pointed out in the past that all these memories have not aided science in any way. People may vividly recall that they lived in the court of Pharaoh, but they don’t remember the language, or contribute any fact that can’t be found in a popular science magazine. All the remembered past lives have not brought linguistics an inch forward, nor archeology or architectural history. If you ask an immigrant from Russia, he can usually speak Russian pretty well; and even if he is an uneducated worker, he can still describe to some extent the prevailing trends in architecture, music and visual art. You should expect no less from someone who remembers a past life.

It is for good reason that reincarnation is in religions a matter of faith. The Hindu avatar Krishna says in Bhagavadgita: "Many lives have we lived, both I and you (Arjuna); but while I remember mine, you have forgotten yours." Remembering past lives is a divine gift that is not normally bestowed on mortals, in this religion. Do you really think you can buy that in some workshop in California or Florida?

***

No, the past lives that are remembered in this way are something else, and no less wondrous. They are creations of the subconscious mind. The waking "I" is just the tip of the iceberg. Its roots go deep down, and there are many peaks that normally do not pierce the surface. In dreams we meet such creations. Some dream mostly about the people and places they already know. But others among us have dreams that are very different. In these dreams, we are elsewhere, perhaps elsewhen. We are surrounded by people we do not know, and sometimes we are another person entirely. I have no count of the people I have been, most of them men or boys but occasionally a woman or an animal or an alien. Some of these people have unusual powers, typically of a magic nature, so clearly they are not telepathic transfers from some actual life, nor memories of past lives.

Being a fiction writer (as a hobby), I recognize that these characters are of the same nature. They are creations of my mind. Even the characters in my stories take on a life of their own, not to mention that some of them are inspired by dreams in the first place. I often add a little piece or trait of myself in a fictional character, but by and large they are wholly separate lives with their own memories and their own motivations.

It seems clear to me that the past lives, the fictional characters and the dream characters are all the same: Products of the subconscious. As are we ourselves, largely. The subconscious is not a dark spot in the corner: It is the soil out of which our life’s tree grows. We could have been many others, if circumstances were different. Yes, even if they were not. In hindsight, we often can peg our choices on some circumstance outside ourselves: 'I did not help the little old lady because I tried that once before and she yelled at me.' But the fact that we had a choice means that we could have chosen differently. If we had no real choice, we would have just reacted automatically. We sometimes do that too, you know.

***

And now to link all this to my current fad: Role playing games. Perhaps the very core of this hobby is the ability to be someone else for a while. Apart from being a learning experience, why is this so fascinating? Because it allows us to bring into play (literally) parts of ourselves that we normally don’t use. A man may play as a woman, a pacifist as a warrior, an honest man as a thief.

Some people are generally uncomfortable with role playing. It’s not just that they find it boring or difficult, but they resent it on an emotional level. It feels wrong. For some of my fellow Christians, this is a sign that the games are evil and sinful. I respect that they choose to stay away, but I think the evil is within themselves. It may be that it has been bottled up for so long that they fear it might take control. Of course, there is always the point that these stories we make are not objectively true. This is certainly a valid argument, but then one must also discard all works of fiction, except perhaps the most transparent of parables and allegories. I tried that for a while, but reconsidered. I think that if we want to root out all falsehood, the best place to begin is that particular role playing that is called hypocricy.

I do indeed have my own restrictions. My core morality remains the same when I roleplay: I try to help others, the way I would want them to do unto me. But of course there are differences. Most notably, there are monsters that are programmed to be aggressive. If I already know that orcs will attack us at sight, I don’t feel bad about doing it to them first. But as for fellow players, I try to help as much as possible and hurt as little as possible. And I recoil from treachery of any kind. Even in Daggerfall, where there are no fellow players, I rarely raise my backstab skills much over the course of a game.

I understand that others can have quite different restrictions to their role playing. It may be that their sexuality - in the broadest sense - is sacred to them, so that they just cannot imagine playing someone of the opposite gender, or for that matter roleplay someone of a deviant sexuality. (Incidentally I haven’t tried that, and frankly most role playing games are not sexually explicit to the extent that it would matter.) But in these cases too, I wonder if this would not often be because they feel a weakness in this area, that there is some latent persona in them that they fear will leap out. Just as I fear the evil and treachery within myself, which is now just a fading memory of a time long ago - and of someone I could have been.