Sunday 30 January 2000

Pic of the day: Amid this beauty I was assailed by a bad mood.

So I took my digicam for a walk after the sun had set, but before it grew truly dark. I wanted to take a few nice pictures and get some fresh air. But pretty soon I discovered that freezing cold air had descended on the land, and the roads were mostly covered with slippery ice. This did not please me. I know this did not happen particularly to tick me off, I am hardly that significant in the great pattern of things. But this does not cheer my up a lot, either.

Walking along the steep and slippery road, I reflected on how people only value me as a natural resource (and a FREE natural resource, at that) and not as a person. A steep and slippery road it was indeed. I soon decided to stop being Mr Nice Guy. I decided that the next time any male asks me to do something for them, implying that I will do it for free, I shall politely ask them what's in it for me. Why would I help my rival males paint over their failures? Let them accidentally format their hard disks, and perhaps the human females will discover that these guys are genetic throwbacks whose genes are slated for extinction in the near future. Certainly it cannot be my responsibility to cover up for them! [1]

By the time I came home, I was quite grumpy, and there was no chocolate left to sedate me. I decided to play Daggerfall. Today I created a new character class, "Kitten". "This kitten has claws." :)

After having slaughtered innumerable electronic rats, skeletons, burglars and what not, I turned my attention to developing the red planet again. Usually this makes me sleepy, but this time not. My mood did lighten, however, as I expected it would do, as time passed. I find it sort of interesting to feel a real human mood. I am a human, you know, but I tend to ignore it quite a bit. I guess I could have more emotions, if I felt secure that they would not in the end have me instead.

As the night was falling, I found an e-mail from a fellow thinker and by now I started to actually smile. :) It is always interesting to see one's own thoughts from the other side, don't you think so?

Right now I'm chatting with these nice people on IRC, listening to happy music and looking at pretty pictures. So much for the bad mood thing. But it is always good to have respect for human emotions. Most of my fellow humans have real problems with their emotions at some time or other. It could easily be me one day. It is worth being humble.