Thursday 28 December 2000

Pic of the day: These candles from last new year came in handy on a cold night.

Quality of life

I took a walk. Cold wind carried dry, powdery snow; it swirled around me, melding into haze at a distance. Likewise my thoughts, an ever changing pattern. I thought about quality of life, and what really determines it.

There are basic needs that should be met: Food and water to keep the body going, clothes and shelter to protect it from the elements, and someone to hug to keep up the will to live. But above that? There are theories, and books aplenty. The words grow longer and finer the further we climb up the ivory pyramids.

Various studies have shown that the rich are not particularly happy, but the poor are unhappy. Evidently there is a watershed somewhere. It may even be moving - it could be that people compare themselves to others and feel bad if they cannot keep up. But it is not just that. For decades, people in western countries grew steadily more happy - or so they said. But for the last few decades they don't. They still feel overall pretty good, but despite an ever growing income they don't feel better. I take this as a proof that we have reached a level where we should look for other sources of happiness.

***

I don't think we all take pleasure in quite the same things. We are born different, raised differently, and eventually our choices in life change us as well. But perhaps we should sit down now and then and make our own lists of what makes us happy, rather than just listening to the advertising agencies' recipes for happiness.

For some of us, it can be as simple as sitting down and listening to our favorite music. Or for the more talented, playing it. Or even creating our own. There are some incredibly advanced instruments out there, but perhaps something simpler would be enough if we just took the time to actually sit down and enjoy it. It sure beats stressing and running to earn the money for things you don't have the time to enjoy.

Some enjoy drawing and painting. While the best tools can make a difference for the truly talented artist, many of us can enjoy even simple childish toys. But not if we don't take the time to sit down with them and forget the world for a while, the way we did when we were children.

For others, nature is an endless source of beauty and wonder. Some of us are lucky enough to live in the middle of it, more or less. Others may have a way to go. But it may not be necessary to travel halfway around the globe to see the beauty and majesty in nature. Sometimes it's enough to sit down by the side of the road and look up.

Above most other sources of happiness in a human's life is the company of friends and loved ones. It need not always be something grand, some high and glorious reason to come together in a solemn way. Just a few friendly words, or even a phone call or a letter can make someone happy. And perhaps that someone is yourself, too.

And while I believe some people are born and bred materialists, who feel comfortable with the thought that they are just bodies passing through the brief lighted rooms of life, many of us believe in a spiritual reality of some kind. Some see a personal deity, other an impersonal Higher Power, or perhaps a guardian angel or spirit guide that connect them to the invisible world. I won't judge on all of this today. But I know from experience that you will not get much out of your spiritual life unless you invest the time to be quiet and listen.

And whether you believe in anything otherworldly or not, your body and soul will benefit from some time in quiet meditation. It clears the thoughts and gives us a bit more perspective. We become more aware of where we are in life, of what we can choose and of the forces that try to act on us. Sometimes we need to draw back and get that distance, so we are not run around in circles by our own illusions and others.

***

Unless you are competing for money and for glory, you probably won't need the most expensive of everything. The fast car, the large house, the computer with all the newest stuff, the expensive sports gear. Usually there is some cheaper alternative that does the trick. What matters more is how much time we put into it, and how much soul, how much attention.

I would not even consider buying for myself such expensive running clothes that I bought for my best friend. (Though I shall admit that I probably was too cheap on the shoes I bought a few years ago - they ate the skin on my heel.) It may seem strange that I have double standards, one for me and one for her. But it's not quite as simple as "I love her more than myself". That is still open for debate. It's more that I have been through that time when I thought I could buy happiness. I still sometimes find a thing that brightens my day (like the pocket PC, obviously). But by and large, I first look and see if I already have something that does the trick. Or if not, if I can get something cheaper that does.

Lest I come across as St. Magnus the Great, I keep remembering the stacks of computer games (more than 100) that I bought before I found the ones that I prefer to play. And I still have plastic bags full of CDs, most of which I don't play, from the time when I thought buying something new would help. And my shelves were pretty much packed with books before I started thinking twice about buying something I may not read through to the end. And I still can't get all my clothes into the wardrobe, try as I might.

I guess I've had a similar experience to the author of Ecclesiastes, purportedly king Solomon, when he says: "And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun. And I turned myself to behold wisdom, and madness, and folly"...

I expect that she shall come through there too, someday, and laugh with me at the madness and the folly. When you're young, you think that happiness can be bought for money, if only you find the right shop. But eventually you learn that the soul is more than the body, and the body is more than the clothes. All things get their right value eventually.