After conferring with God, I have gone through the archives and removed almost all the buttpics. I think I got nearly all the photos, there are a couple mostly blurry pictures from games and such left. These photos served their role in the past, but they are not fitting now. And I need to be merciful to people who may be sexually affected by butts. It happens, and they should not be needlessly dragged into temptation when coming to a place like this. I have to become more merciful over time. That is the way.

The pictures are still there, I only added a .b at the end of the filename, so historians of the future can still find them if they deem it important. Somehow I don’t think so, though.

(And before new readers let their imagination run wild, there was always some degree of clothing. Usually day clothes.)

I should say something so people know I am still alive.

I have been writing a number of spiritual / religious entries lately. (The difference between the two is less than most people like to pretend these days, and this in fact was the topic of one of them.) But even if the teaching is healthy, as I believe it is, I am still not worthy to teach it. And there is also the whole “iceberg” thing, the proportion between what is above and below the surface. That is already pretty bad as is.

I wish someone else would write all those things in a way that is easy to understand, so I could just link to them. You may know that one motto for this blog is “We must say all the words that should be spoken, before they are lost forever.” But I really wish someone else would do it on topics such as these.

The other things in my life seem almost (or even not almost) embarrassing in comparison. I’ll see what I can do, though. After all, I do spend my time on all kinds of things, not mainly spiritual books and prayer (and definitely not fasting)!

I have forgotten what anime I took this picture from, but it was not nearly as pious as it looks. And neither am I, unfortunately.

I have noticed with some unease that the Chaos Node, despite its name, tends to contain more and more religious / spiritual / metaphysical entries. If you put the ruler on this, as we say in Norwegian (a phrase meaning “extrapolate”) , it won’t be long before this is an all-out religious / spiritual blog. While that is not a bad thing in itself, it is far from an accurate representation of my life. The whole autobiography aspect that has run through the Chaos Node since its early days in 1998, is now in danger. But more importantly, there is a direct threat of hypocrisy. Because I am not actually that religious and spiritual. Although it seems to be seeping into me, it is nothing like completely taking over my life. I think. Yet.

I am still playing computer games almost daily. Mostly The Sims 3, and a little City of Heroes.  These days I am also reading a (would-be) SF novel. It is admittedly a Mormon SF novel, but I am definitely not a Mormon (although I suppose I vaguely aspire to an actual latter-day saint, if these are the latter days – anyway, I am not there, and I don’t think most of them are either, except in the most generic meaning). Remind me to review it if I finish it (which I intend to do). Mormons in space! Less absurd than absurd theater. Probably. I haven’t finished it yet.

I even watch some anime. I should review them. That would show you. They are not of the pantsu (underwear) type, but that could be because there are no good anime of that type recently, I suppose. It certainly need not be about me. Did you know there was a half-season animated series about underwear a couple years ago? It followed a bunch of girls and their underwear as they established an underwear club at school. I actually started watching it, but it really wasn’t that interesting. Or I may be growing old. Who knows. Probably not, I did not think a lot about underwear when I was young either. Well, I did occasionally think about my own, but that was pretty much it.

Anime are my main source of pictures, though. Sometimes a series is not all that amazing, but it has pictures that illustrate things I tend to say. Also, people will google for anime pictures and come to the Chaos Node.  Serves them right! ^_^

I used to write about economics on a fairly regular basis, you know. But you (the collective you) didn’t listen to my warnings. Actually, I guess the Collective You didn’t even know that I existed, but there were other voices as well, and the Collective You didn’t listen to them either. And so things went to Niflheim in a nutshell, as it keeps doing to this day. I guess I could write more about it, but I have no hope that it would make a difference. In fact, very few things would make a difference in macroeconomics anymore, short of a big war, an asteroid collision, or a decent number of legions of angels, things on that scale.

And without things on that scale, the World of Spirit is actually the most interesting thing in my life right now. Not the most pleasurable, really, although the absence of spirituality would be unspeakably horrifying. But it’s not exactly fun… well, not all of the time. But is is grand. It is epic. It is for all purposes unlimited in so many directions. It is awesome. So even though I should keep my mouth shut and listen and learn, it tends to boil over. Because it is interesting AND important and useful for everyone.

But I’ll try to keep it from taking over the blog.  At the very least I am bound by honor and decency to not pretend I am some sort of actual practicing saint.

Even my sim is reading.

I have a stack of entries of a religious / spiritual nature lying on my draft list. I think they can stay there, at least for the time being. And the time being is always all we have, so no promises.

After I joined Goodreads (a social network for book lovers, I guess) I have shifted to input mode, it feels. Although I have also been writing reviews (and that takes a lot of time, surprisingly) I have also been reading more than before. I used to read on the commute, but these days I am even reading at home! Imagine that. Actually the reading I do at home is rereading, either before or after reviewing a book. But the effect is the same. I am reading instead of writing.

But it is not just a matter of time, as “I spend so much time reading, I don’t have time to write.” That is not literally true. I had enough time to write if I really wanted to.  But I am kind of stuck in this input mode. It does not feel natural to suddenly shift to writing.

That is strange, because usually the easiest way for me to start writing was to read a short passage of a spiritual book of high level but below actual Holy Scripture. I would then automatically begin to expand the message as it came alive inside me, and easily have a full entry based on a paragraph or two. After all, their light is more concentrated than mine, as I have mentioned before.

But now that does not feel right, right now. Perhaps it is just that I am stuck in input mode. Or perhaps it is a dawning realization that I am not worthy. I mean, I already know that. I try to not pass myself off as a spiritual teacher, but rather a kind of tourist reporting the sights and sounds of this exciting world of the higher reality. But even so, I am kind of feeling the weight of my inferiority when I compare myself to a true saint like St Teresa or John of the Cross. They really are that high, high above me.

Of course, I already feel pretty remote from most of mankind for the opposite reason, if only in the matter of theoretical understanding. I have seen so much, and yet done so little. And so I feel the need for input more than for output, right now. Usually this doesn’t last, though. Perhaps it should, but usually it doesn’t.

I have tried repeatedly to write an entry about a topic that is sensitive to many people (though I don’t feel that way personally). Despite the time I have spent on it, I have not had the conscience to publish any of my attempts. This is simply to inform you why the entry isn’t there.

No! No, I mustn’t destroy my health to blogviate at great length about things that are mostly above my praygrade!

Starting yesterday, my right arm hurts pretty much from the neck to the fingers, although some poses are not too bad. I can type, but not much. I also happen to have a head and throat cold, so I can’t dictate much either.

Perhaps “Someone Up There” thinks I should cut down on the sanctimonious prattle…?

And I had even found this great passage from Meditations on the Tarot that I would gladly write about, but perhaps you understand it with just his own words. Perhaps you even understand it better? Who knows.

For the “zone of silence” does not only signify that the soul is, fundamentally, at rest, but also, and rather, that there is contact with the heavenly or spiritual world, which works together with the soul. He who finds silence in the solitude of concentration without effort, is never alone. He never bears alone the weight that he has to carry; the forces of heaven, the forces from on high, are there taking part from now on.