If only I could transfer understanding like that! But in this world, understanding is quite unpredictable even if all involved do their best, not to mention when not.

Last spring I wrote in one entry: “Madness is not the only danger in books. There is also the danger that something may be understood that can never be forgotten.” But what is this unique experience of understanding something, that suddenly makes a permanent change, completely different from the normal mode of learning?

It occurred to me recently that if understanding was not already widely accepted as a fact, it would fail the Randi bet.  Former “stage magician” (illusionist) James Randi has organized a standing prize of $1 million to whoever can prove supernatural or paranormal powers or events in a controlled test environment. So far nobody has run off with the prize, although some have complained about the conditions. Generally, the supernatural event must be predictable, so that one can ensure that it takes place during the experiment. It must be repeatable, so that it is not just a chance occurrence. And it must be unusual. It is on the last count that understanding (barely?) would be rejected at the outset. But actually it would not fit the other two either.

As I am sure any teacher can testify, there is a big difference between rote learning and understanding. Learning – such as memorizing vocabulary in a foreign language – follows a predictable curve. The amplitude of the curve may vary from person to person, but the shape of the curve is the same for nearly all. In contrast, understanding may or may not occur at all. It is certainly not possible to predict exactly when someone will understand something difficult. It may be today, tomorrow, next year or never. Furthermore, once you have understood it, the event is not repeatable: You cannot un-understand something simply by waiting, the way you can do with French irregular verbs. Once it clicks into place, it takes extreme measures to wipe it out.

If this is the case with scholarly topics such as special relativity, it is even more so with moral and emotional understanding. I have repeatedly mentioned how my life changed in a matter of minutes one day while I was reading a tract by Elias Aslaksen about the way to react. Until then, I had been like almost all children: If you insulted me, I would fly into a rage. My oldest brother had made this a routine amusement, it seems to me. But at that time – I think I was 15, but it may have been the year before – as I was sitting in my grandfather’s rocking chair, my view of life changed completely. I realized with blinding clarity that no one else can lift my hand. (Well, technically they can, but I mean they can’t do so by words or gestures.) I was responsible for how I acted, it did not matter what others had done to me. As long as I was alive and in control of my own body, I was the one who could – and must – decide what it would do.

This did not automatically change my life completely, but pretty drastically. There are certain reactions that are bordering on instinct, but even there a range of different actions exist. This understanding has continued to spread through my life, but its actual creation – or whatever you would call it – happened in a matter of minutes at most. I rose from that chair a different and much freer person than I had been when I sat down. Yet there are people who die at a ripe old age and have never had this experience, never gained that understanding. They continue to believe that their behavior is formed by their genes or their environment or some such that they have no control over.  Of course, these things act as input on us. But there is something between the input and the output. There is a space between impulse and action. For some of us.

There are various types of understanding, but it seems to me that they are all to some extent unpredictable and non-repeatable. As such, they fall short of the Randi bet in the same way that healing by prayer or reading thoughts. These things simply don’t happen on command, but sometimes they happen when you don’t expect it at all. And to some, they don’t happen at all. But once they do, they don’t unhappen. You cannot spool life back and play it over.

So if we were to categorize it, I would say that understanding is a miracle. (And understanding between humans even more so, but let us limit ourselves to understanding things this time.) Whether it is supernatural, depends on how super you consider nature itself to be. But it can certainly feel like a magical moment.