Next stop: The glucose syrup diet! Kind of.

Let us talk about my doctor visit! It is always interesting to hear old people talk about their health, is it not? ^_^

Today was the appointment for my second doctor visit this year. (The trip in between was only to the lab.) Today’s appointment was originally for checking my prostate gland, but as I have already mentioned, in the meantime I found another explanation for that particular problem. I explained this to my doctor right away. He did not seem particularly disappointed, strangely enough, despite not getting the opportunity to study my rear end.

It seems the doctor had already concluded from my questionnaire that it was probably not a prostate problem. He seems to have thought of diabetes, as well he should since I have repeatedly told him that both of my parents developed this condition. However, the glucose content in my blood sample was within normal range, albeit higher than perfect. This is really the same as when I talked with him two years ago or so. He seems to be waiting for me to develop glucose intolerance, but that is unlikely to happen if my foot recovers within a reasonable time so I can keep walking everywhere. As long as you keep moving about, it is very hard to develop metabolic syndrome, even if you are bit overweight. And I’m barely even that, although what little fat I have seems to have gathered around my guts as I have grown older.

That said, I seem to live on the threshold of that condition, like my parents. If something happens to make me stop using my body actively for a while, it may well break out. Light send that doesn’t happen anytime soon.

My amount of bad cholesterol is also higher than ideal, despite my low-fat diet. Then again, the ideal may be a bit extreme. The doctor fished out a book illustrating the levels of heart disease risk at various combinations of age, smoking or not, blood pressure and cholesterol. Evidently to his surprise, when we looked at it, I fell squarely within the dark green area, the negligible chance of heart infarct. (Of course, fate may still intervene, but so may meteors from outer space.) So he slightly sheepishly added: “But if you would start smoking, you would be at risk!” Yeah, I’ll consider that if I ever feel suicidal and want bad breath thrown in.

So as to not waste a perfectly good patient by sending me home happy, he decided to attack the diabetes angle instead. I got another lab appointment, this time for Tuesday. I am supposed to not eat anything after 9PM on Monday, then at 8:30 in the morning to show up at the lab and drink a hefty beaker of concentrated glucose solution. Then I am to wait quietly for two hours and they will measure my blood sugar again. His theory is that it will go down more slowly than it should, thus betraying my glucose intolerance which will manifest within a year.

Of course, this is pretty close to my standard workday breakfast, which consists of two cups of chocolate pudding with vanilla sauce, and (until recently) two glasses of Pepsi with 10% cane sugar. I have recently replaced the Pepsi with chocolate milk though. Lifestyle change for healthy living!  I haven’t told my doctor. The blood sample was also analyzed for long-term blood sugar, where sugar molecules bind to hemoglobin. Evidently that was within acceptable range too, despite the sugar pudding with sugar sauce and sugar liquid. So I am pretty optimistic about that test.

And of course, the opportunity to tell the poor nurses: “Foolish mortals! You have provided me with a source of unimaginable energy! Yes… I can feel its power coursing through my veins!”

Seriously though – one cup of glucose after 12 hours of fasting? It is likely to leave me begging for another serving. I usually eat sugars and starches from morning till night. What else should I eat when I can’t eat fat? Broccoli? Perhaps one day – with modern technology, I may be able to work from the bathroom…