Since sometime yesterday, I think it was before I got sick, I have had recurring pains in my lower left side. Not the right side, where the appendix is, so that’s something. It came and went through the night and the workday and on my way home, so it has me a bit worried, even though it is not horribly intense.

But as I sat on the commute bus home and we drove through a mixture of fields and woods, I was struck by the beauty of the land, both in its natural state and where shaped by men. Although the two forms are different, they are beautiful and harmonious together. Looking up at the sky, where the sun shone through although most of it was covered with clouds, I enjoyed the light of the sun. Looking around me, this world was so full of life, and I felt privileged to have lived so long on this planet.

Not that I won’t be happy to stay here longer, mind you. But even now, I felt gratitude and satisfaction well up inside me, quietly but wondrously. And I thought to myself, certainly this is a good thing, that my soul is able to see beauty. The world is both dark and light, but not all can see it. My pain is – for now at least – rather ordinary. But there are those in prison who sing songs of praise, and there are those in palaces who are driven to madness by envy. The soul certainly has a lot to say.

I realize that this one thing alone is not a guarantee that I go to paradise, but at least it should guarantee that I recognize paradise if I come there! So that is something. A little ray of hope.

There is a tradition, which I believe goes all the way back to Dante, that above the entrance to Hell there is a sign: “Abandon hope, ye who enter here.” That seems a reasonable admonition, I have always assumed. But today I briefly wondered: What happens if someone fails to comply? Don’t ask me, but it was a strange thought, don’t you think?