Sometimes I may be biting over more than I can swallow, but I try to only share what I have at least tasted, if not digested.
There is something I want you to know. Â It may seem that I have been on a “Happy Science” spree since last summer, more or less, and there are other people also that inspire me but who you probably find distasteful. This cannot be helped. Â You have to understand that I don’t believe anything, much less convey it to others, “because Master Okawa said so”, or because Robert Godwin said so, or Huston Smith, or Wilber or Schuon or Kierkegaard or, Light help us all, Mouravieff. Â I may possibly bring forward something because Jesus Christ said so, but probably not anymore. Â Rather, if I quote them or (more likely) paraphrase them, it is because my heart said so.
Okawa at least is bound to be happy if he finds out that, because he says repeatedly that you have not understood anything he says until you can tell it in your own words, and do so for five minutes or an hour depending on the needs of those who listen to you. Â And that is exactly how I see it too. Â So, sorry if we agree, but we did so before I had even heard of him, so there is no helping it!
Now, a human heart is not infallible, quite the opposite. Â So when I talk about my heart here, I am not referring to the joy one feels when hearing that there is an easier way and you are allowed to do what you want. The world today is full of easy ways in religion. Â Eastern faiths in particular are plagued with sects that say you only need to chant a particular text repeatedly to be saved or enlightened. And there are plenty of Christian churches that have followed the times so if you do the same as the majority of people, neither better nor worse, you’ll fit right in.
What I talk about is something else. Â It is finding pieces to the puzzle that is life. Â I have told repeatedly that my world is not made up of separate rooms: Â Rather, it is as if I stand under one enormous dome, on the walls and ceiling of which are all the world’s sciences, seamlessly merging with their neighbors. Â Cosmology gradually changes into astronomy on one side and subatomic physics on the other. Â Medicine is inseparable from biochemistry and psychiatry, physics and chemistry fit together. Â In this world, my whole world is one single entity, though smaller pieces are missing and the picture blurs when I get close enough to one of the walls. It is finding such pieces that fit the picture, it is the joy of finding those that makes my heart resonate, even if they come from a heretic or a madman.
Nor is this unique to me. Â Johan Oscar Smith, founder of the Christian Church colloquially known as “Smith’s Friends”, supposedly said that he would learn even from a drunk man in the street. This is probably a good idea, because that is one of the few cases where people will say something that is not already said in mass media. Â When sober and watching one’s reputation, it is common to only say what is already accepted by the group one belongs to.
In any case, I do test what I hear and hold it up against the Light. Â If it is not shining brightly, I am wary. Â I may refer to it in terms that make it clear that “this is what they say, not what I say”. Â Or most commonly I just put it aside. If it seems dangerous, I may warn against it. Â But my main interest is in that which I can sense is infused with Light. Â That which increases love, hope, courage, peace, and depth in me personally or helps me radiate these things to others. If some people repeatedly give me these experiences, I am willing to live with the fact that they seem to balance between heresy and sheer lunacy, with a dash of blasphemy in the extreme cases.
So what I say is what I believe at the moment. Â I may be wrong, and I change my mind from time to time. Â But it is what resonates in my heart, and I strive to say it in my own words (unless it is already said perfectly). Â After all, apart from keeping my friends updated on my trivial human life, the main reason for this journal is to say all the words that should be spoken, before they are lost forever. Â Whether those words resonate with your heart or not, is entirely up to the Light. Â I cannot choose it, and neither can you. Â Hopefully someone, somewhere, sometime will get a little help from something I said. Â Or if not, at least sometimes I do.