Friday 29 April 2005

Pic of the day: The face of anger. "It was a misunderstanding" doesn't cut it! (Screenshot from the anime Mahou Sensei Negima.)

Another judgment day

My thumb was better in the morning, but grew worse again through the day. I also started to get sick. I don't like that, but it can be useful to keep me humble. I can definitely need that!

For instance, after most of the work was done (if you can call it that), I went and bought a little food to eat before I finished my workday. It was just a couple things, milk products as usual. I was standing in line, and it was practically my turn when the little old lady behind me put her things on the conveyor belt. Thanks to my quick reaction, I managed to get my goods on the belt in front of hers, but it still caused a small confusion for the cashier.

I was still upset as I left the shop and crossed the street. I was thinking that I should have told the old lady that she was going to meet her Maker really soon now, and then she would get to know what he thought about sneaking in the line. And while I was thinking about this, I could feel my life force starting to drain from my body, kind of like it does if I touch a woman other than my best friend or look at them too closely. This brought me out of my hot state of anger, and I realized what I was thinking. I was of course horrified. Having barely poked my head above the rim of the Valley of the Shadow of Death myself, I suddenly thought it was cool to threaten others with impending doom?? If anything, I should have sympathy with someone being in a hurry when seeing her time running out.

So I repented, and I guess that's kind of good. But it would undeniably have been much better to not be evil in my heart in the first place. After having being a Christian for all these years, after all that has happened to me, I am still Evil Inside. That is not a cause for joy. Also I've been more or less sick from then on, which is no fun either. But if that's what it takes to keep me from threatening the weak with death and damnation, then so be it. Some things are just not acceptable. Sneaking in the line is. Hating my fellow sinner is not.