Tuesday 19 April 2005

Pic of the day: One of those days. Screenshot from the anime Final Approach.

Falling back

In Norwegian book language, a relapse is called "tilbakefall", falling back. That describes the feeling pretty well. At work this day, my stomach started to hurt. (Actually after breakfast as well, but that didn't last long.) It got worse and I started to really worry, half expecting to collapse and throw up blood. This turned out to just be my wild fantasies. Instead I started to freeze, got queasy and had to run for the bathroom much like during horror week 3-4 weeks ago. This was most unwelcome.

It would seem I am not fully recovered after all. Perhaps I shall never be. In this case, I suspect the liver paste I've eaten plenty of the last couple days. It is rich in protein but also fat. Perhaps I will never again be able to eat more than trace amounts of fat. Oh well. There are worse fates. And this would make it easy to decide on whether to return to my previous normal weight or stay at the innermost hole in my belt. Contrary to popular belief, it is hard to gain weight from "carbs" (carbohydrates), because our bodies are horribly bad at converting them into fat. (Unlike some animals which we like to compare each other to.) What we humans do instead is burn the carbs first and save the fat. This does the trick nicely, since we are omnivores and normally get some fat, some sugar and starch, and some protein. So we don't really need to make any of them ourselves, just prioritize the use of each.

Even so, the body will subtly influence the mind, telling us that it would be really nice with some fat now, when that particular food has been missing for a while. So the mayonnaise in my fridge is looking quite good. Yes it is. And I may never eat it again. Perhaps I should smear it all over my body the way that girl wished for in the anime. Although I am not sure she really meant mayonnaise. Surely girls don't want boys to smear mayonnaise all over their bodies. That's suntan oil. And I don't have that, and mayonnaise would be kinda icky. I suppose I'll just let it stay in my fridge for a few more years, like I did with the pickles.

The good news here is that I recovered through the afternoon. And on top of that, the ill wind blew some good: Since I fell ill before lunch, I did not go out for lunch as I almost always do. When I went home in the late afternoon, the mannequins in the Men's Clothes shop on the main street had new clothes. If I had gone out for lunch, I would almost certainly have seen a woman dress them. It is almost always women who do that. This makes my heart beat very hard and my knees grow weak, I get dizzy and forget to breathe. So it was a good thing after all that I wasn't there.