Wednesday 16 April 2003

Pic of the day: Before I headed home, I bought this and another such lamp to light up my apartment instead of cursing the darkness. That doesn't exactly make me "St. Luminous", so what is the connection to today's entry? I think only one of my readers will know, and she won't tell.

Fly into my dream

It's full moon, which means less sleep (and more temptations). I was up early because of the job, but on the very bright side we got off early. Days and days without working! Yay! Yatta! Woohoo! And so on. I retreated to a world of role playing and Japanese animations. The real world can have it for a while. Now I want to just relax. Again. Alone, thank the Light I'm alone at least. Paradise regained. Right?

Instead of a real entry, I want to share with you the most beautiful song I know right now. Sadly I can't give you the actual song, "Fly into my dream", because it is Japanese (despite the title) and I don't know enough Japanese to make sense of the places on the Net where you might buy it if it even is still on sale. But you can get it by downloading the anime "St Luminous High School" from AnimeSuki.com. Downloading is legal here in Norway, while publishing is not; your states may have different rules for this, so take care. But if you can get at it, this song is at the end of every episode. And it is truly beautiful.

Here follows the translation from the anime. Some punctuation added.

Fly into my dream!
Hurry and tell me
with your heart
that I am not alone.
Keep calling out to me...

Is it called courage?
In the middle of this maze,
as I walk,
I hold my shaking knees.
Whenever I look
at the mirrored walls
I wonder who I can ask
about my selfishness...

Fly into my dream!
How many frozen nights
must I break
to see tomorrow?
Labyrinth of my heart,
it just keeps going on and on;
I'll head for the entrance,
no matter what.
Keep calling out forever!
Take me there ...

OK, it doesn't look quite as terrific without the actual song, but still ... I never knew loneliness could be so beautiful. I guess this is kinda like one morning I walked the beach after a strong wind had blown toward the land, and there were transparent jellyfish lying in the sand like pieces of ice or glass, not yet dried out in the first rays of the sun. And I wondered how death could be so beautiful, when only I was far enough removed from the feeling that it could have been me. I guess this is now the same for me and loneliness.

A small part of me feels vaguely guilty because I cannot do this, call for someone to find the way out of her loneliness. That I cannot be the one to ask about your selfishness. But what good would it do to open your heart to someone who only knows human loneliness from a song?