Thursday 23 September 1999
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Pic of the day: Me, differently.
Doubting myself This must be week of the long dreams. I had another one tonight, but I only remember the last main sequence. At the end of the previous part of the dream, I had observed or predicted some moderately catastrophic event which would lead to flooding here. (Here being the valley where I lived in the dream, not the Chaos Node.) Sure enough - the water came. The effect was intriguing at first, it looked like the river was suddenly running backwards. It was the floodwater coming up through the river, but in mere moments it overflowed the riverbanks and started to cover the flat bottom of the valley. The waters rose dangerously fast at first, but luckily I had warned everyone who lived in the small valley. As the flooded area grew, the water rose more and more slowly. My parents and my grandmother lived in the house, and I was particularly concerned about my very elderly grandmother. She was not very intent on getting out, even when the water was lapping at the foundation of the house. I went outside and I was struck by a feeling of helplessness as I clearly saw that my superpowers were not up to stopping the flood. At one time they might have been, though perhaps not. But now they were weaker. Even to rescue a single person was taxing my power now. We did get granma securely to the orchards further up the side of the valley. The waters were stopping somewhere in the process of flooding the house - they did come into the living room but barely covered the floor. The waters started to recede, but so did my powers, more quickly now. I found that I was no longer able even to fly! Now, let me tell you, that's quite a blow to your self esteem. So I said to myself: "You must believe! You CAN do this." And I threw myself into the air and sailed a bit. But I could feel myself grow heavier, and I knew the next time I landed that I would not be able to take off again. I still had my mind, though, so I sent my mindbody ahead and let my material body trail behind, walking. This should have been a pretty strong hint that the dream was coming to an end. I know from repeated experience that when my basic magic / super powers fail, I'll soon wake up. But in the dream I am not aware of this. Each dream is separate - as if they are cut scenes from a complete life, with its own history, and with no knowledge of each other or my waking life.
No wonder oriental philosophers, who believe in re-incarnation,
speculated that our lives may be like dreams: Each one a life
unto itself, yet all lived by the same soul, like the many dreams
are all dreamt by the same soul. I doubt it, though.
Today I read a fascinating article in "Skattebetaleren" (The Taxpayer), the magazine of the Norwegian Taxpayer Union. "Death and the taxman" by famed Norwegian writer Agnar Mykle. Featuring among other things Mark Twain and Joan of Arc in Heaven, it was a rather rambling work, originally written to the local tax office in 1967. Here he among other things advocated indirect taxes, which at that time was rather less important than they are now, five years after his death. But more controversial is his idea that taxes should be voluntary. He counters the protest that this would mean little or no taxes at all: "He who doubts the people, doubts himself." Oh, I agree with that: I doubt myself on a regular basis. I do trust myself more than I trust others, but basically for one reason: With myself, I can look out for thoughts and emotions while they are small enough to handle. In others I can discern nothing until it breaks the surface, and by then it may not be reversible. The price of liberty is eternal vigilance, according to Thomas Jefferson. I agree, and let me add: And this applies at least as much to the person as to the country. And within more than without. |
Workplace music: Old Beatles instrumentals. |